misantrophy: hatred of humankind. YOUR kind.

2011-11-23T00:57:00.002+08:00

love every cold bus ride with you.

love every escalator ride with you.

love every phone call i get from you.

love how our eyes set on each other.

love how our fingers fit perfectly in each other.

love the taste of your breath.

love how you can make me love again..

2011-08-04T23:28:00.006+08:00

do i look prettier like this:

or like this eh?:

hehehaha. mentel kan!

anyway, i had a chat with the exfiance.
can you believe that? it was horrifying, seeing him answering my long forgotten unanswered qns.
i still can't believe i left the one person i gave my whole life to.
he was my whole wide world. i can do everything and anything for him.
i really hope he's a changed man now.
i've changed too.

if there's one thing i learned from leaving him, is to never stop loving.
there's so much, too much love flowing in me.
i just have to channel it to the right person.

i hope you're the right person this time.
mahalkitarc.

2011-08-03T21:37:00.000+08:00

What was I thinking?
I wasn't.

Daswai..

2011-08-02T17:04:00.003+08:00

day 2 of ramadhan n my MISSION IS COMPLETE.
i can nao die peacefully.
huehue.

i've offcially talked to everyone.
i also got the job at Shell House.
i've also spoken to nenek abt atok and got mama's phone number, although i didnt ask for it, and wasn't planning to call.
hais. nenek like to put me in a guilty situation.
from last time. but its k.

so anyways. bf bought this small leather case diary. and he jotted down every cute details abt us inside. including pictures, movie tix, n receipts.
and then he told me to write in it too.
I USED TO WRITE DIARIES.
and letters. lotsa letters to someone. unsent.
and then i would ask that someone to write in them too.
TOLD YOU I FOUND MYSELF A MALE VERSION OF ME.

please God please let this end nicely. however nice way You have it written for me.
without any heartaches.

2011-07-29T17:42:00.003+08:00

i don't mind another 7 years with rayyan.
im serious.

ijustwantittoendlikehowit'ssupposedtobe.

2011-07-27T15:59:00.002+08:00

there's so much to tell and catch up.
like i dreamt i met ur granddad.

but nope.
still can't bring myself to talk to you.

cus i still think you wont ever wanna talk to me.
or maybe cus part of me still dont ever wanna talk to you.

next life maybe.
till then~

2011-07-21T18:53:00.001+08:00

i wanna talk to everyone now.

everyone.

2011-07-12T20:08:00.002+08:00

a lil bit of jealousy is cute. ;)
BF HAS IT.
BUT HE'S TOO FIERCE.

im actually trembling in anger/fear.
i wanna be angry but im scared.
i dont know how to react lor. usually i would be the one telling my guy off for being jealous and that i can talk to anyone i want and what fuck, but no.
i am speechless. my legs went jelly. my heartbeat doubled.

pohuooyrytsfcfgdjghuy

SEE I CANT EVEN SAY 'POOR GUY' TO THAT GUY BECOS IM SCARED.

omg poor me..

2011-07-07T16:16:00.005+08:00

i wanted to do something new.

so i decided to quit my job of 3yrs.
there weren't any reason for me to do so in the past few years..
UNTIL NOW.
im tired of covering duties and sacrificing my own personal time for this superstar's fame and glory.
fuck you.
i have a life too you noe.
and if you dont get the little hints i gave abt me not being happy with your doings,
BYEBYE.

so, very soon now, im not gonna be overpaid,
im gonna be jobless and broke.
well not really cus i have syra.
and my little savings.
best thing is that, im not worried abt anything.

now let us talk abt my bf, rayyan.
i swear i've found myself a male version of me.
i'll do the same things he do if i were a guy,
we hum the same tune spontaneously,
we finish each other's sentences all the time,
we hate and we like the same thing (well, accept for hayley williams),
aaand we are both allergic to seafood.
i wanna say perfect but lets not be too enthusiastic abt that. its not just abt similarities. so many little and major things he did to be with me is just the way i'll do it when i wanna be with him.
kita tkda cara punya orang~ we want means we get.
but i dont wanna disclose any unknown truth abt us.
yes there are secrets.. which i'll leave it for you all to unravel..

and right now, im totally head over heels in love with this guy.
i don't care if its the honeymoon period, all i know is that, he successfully made me fall in love again.
just like how i fell in love with the ex fiance yearsssss ago...
the kind of love where you know you'll do anything, forget everyone just to make him happy, make him stay, have him forever..
you can see your whole life and your unborn children, when you stare into his eyes.
you know you're still gonna be happy together even when you are broke.
the kind of love where you'd kill yourself if he were to leave..

yes, i never learned my lesson.
and im not gonna worry about anything.

so here's to my whole heart and soul,
something so old, it feels new.

2011-07-02T13:19:00.003+08:00

got loads to share.
so much that i dunnoe how to put it in words.

yes i left asri.
yes i got a new bf, his name is rayyan.
yes u all are now rolling your eyes behind the screen.
i cant help it. i'm happy like this.

i dont wish to blog abt the breakup. it wasnt ugly or anything, it's just really sad. really sad its my bday and i have to cry sad tears. i never cried on my bday before. oh well.

anyway. ITS A BLESSING TO BE WITH SYRASKINS.
i've learned so much, got to do sooo many new things. heck i was even flown to Bali (an all-paid flight and accomodation~) in June to assist Syra with henna/makeup/hair. KAN AWESOME.
i love Syra, she helped me alot.

lets see what else i would love to share..
ouh! AND

2011-05-26T08:39:00.002+08:00

it is over.

i've never complained abt him, but it's over.
i guess i'm not really sure abt everything and everyone.

but anyway, i'm loving life right now.
i do what i wanna do, i go where i wanna go, i be who i wanna be.
no one is stopping me.
either you join me, or you GTFO of my life.

but you rc, stay where you are.

2011-03-30T14:43:00.002+08:00

huehue.

2011 is my favourite year. my favourite number.
and yes i didnt touch my blog for 3 mths.

lets see, where shall i start.
went to bali in january.
saw iron maiden and met awesome pple (i really meant the awesome part) in february,
and now its the end of march. there's nothing much in march cept for the fact that parents decided to live in malaysia.

we got a house in jb. at horizon hills to be exact.
where all the sgreans are hiding from LKY's evil plan.

and the hassle of staying there but working here, IS DEATH.
its tiring. i love my room i love my bed. there's so much memories.
i hate to move.

but what to do.
omg. i got nothing else to blog about.
i need some bitching man, but all the bitching's done on twitter.

oh why bother. bye.

2010-12-21T11:45:00.010+08:00

sorry for being emo k.
i have been thru hard times.
i guess the guilt came back?
to a point that if i see him outside, i WANT to approach and say 'hi, nice to see you', but all i cud do was stare from afar, or hide behind the fluffy boyfren.
like, why didnt i say nice things before i left, or do nice stuffs for him?
why did i disappear on him just like that..?

he was the only hope i had back then.

i saw him the other day, and all i did was to hide. i did not even say anything.
for all the times we shared, for all my heartaches he soothed, i chose to ignore his feelings.
i chose to tell pple his mistakes, but never tell pple what he's done to me that only a loved one cud do. i only told boyfren. only one person saw the real thing.
i chose not to tell other pple that i left him cus i fell in love with my boyfren rabak giler babi, and was willing to let go of everything good that might come in my way for something that is way better. that anything else i ever had was easily erased by this feeling i felt upon falling in love with my boyfren.
that great lor, my boyfren.

THAT guy, was a good guy. might still be good now lah if i chose to stay with him. if pple had said that that guy was a rebound, they were ABSOLUTELY right, no matter how i defended myself upon hearing that sentence last time, no matter what reason i gave, they were right..
i apologise for denying something really obvious.
cmon ah, how else do you think i got over something horribly huge just like that? impossible k if no one is there to pull you back up.

to fall deep into a huge hole i've dug myself, and to see a helping hand at the top, i grabbed and pulled him in. while i got out, i left him there to look for better ones.. i think thats too much sin to be forgiven.

so now, i think karma is taking its toll on me and God is punishing me badly lah kan.
I CANOT STOP FEELING GUILTY FOR DOING THAT TO HIM. the feeling is horrible. mcm like if i die, my spirit wont rest lor until i find some ghost whisperer to help me tell him im sorry.

i dont wanna care about other guys anymore, i have a boyfren for god sake, he is everything to me now, but this guy kept visiting me in my dreams, in my mind, like he is the ghost asking for peace.

what? AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND HIM AND SAY SORRY? WILL THAT HELP? I DONT FUCKING NOE IF HE IS STILL ALIVE. I FORGOT HIS NUMBER, I DELETED HIM OFF MY FB AND MSN.
IM TOO ASHAMED TO ASK MY SEC SCH FRENS FOR HIS CONTACT!! IN FACT, I DIDNT EVEN TRY!!

gaaarrghh.

maybe i shud try now.
will get back here again.
most probably emoing again lah cos for all you know, he did not even have any feelings about me.
that i'm just guilty-ing away for nothing.

-.- kbyebrb.

UPDATED:

HE CALLED.
I LEFT MY NUMBER AND HE CALLED ME IMMEDIATELY.
TALKED THINGS OUT, AND EXPLAINED MYSELF.
IT'S ALL GOOD NOW.
you know that shitty feeling i've been complaining abt?
its gone. i dun feel heavy anymore.
i love my bf for saying,"Do wot you have to do."

life IS good.

2010-12-07T18:57:00.003+08:00

It was me on that road
But you couldn't see me
Too many lights out, but nowhere near here

It was me on that road
Still you couldn't see me
And the flashlights and explosions

Road's end getting nearer
We cover distance but not together
I am the storm, and I am the wonder
And the flashlights, nightmares, sudden explosions

I don't know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

It's about you and the sun
A morning run
The story of my maker
What I have and what I ache for

I've got a golden ear
I cut and I spear
And what else is there?
Road's end getting nearer
We cover distance still not together

If I am the storm, if I am the wonder
Will I have flashlights, nightmares, sudden explosions?

I don't know what more to ask for
I was giving just one wish

Road's end getting nearer
We cover distance but not together
I am the storm and I am the wonder
And the flashlights, nightmares, sudden explosions

There is no room where I can go and
You've got secrets too

I don't know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

2010-12-04T09:47:00.001+08:00

I hear your voice
I touch your hair
I see the traces
Everywhere
This house of ours
We used to share
My dream has turned
To nightmare

I sleep no more
I dream no more
There's nothing here
To wake up for
I talk no more
I sing no more
Don't function like
I did before

Because she doesn't live here anymore
She hardly calls at all
Now when she's gone I find myself lost
Staring at the wall

I drink again
I smoke again
There's no one here
To call my friend
I swear again
I'm mad again
So troubled since
I don't know when

Because she doesn't live here anymore
She hardly calls at all
Now when she's gone I find myself lost
Staring at the wall

She doesn't live here anymore
She hardly calls at all
Since she's been gone there's nobody here
To catch me when I fall

2010-12-01T11:54:00.009+08:00

YOU GUYS WANNA NOE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME A WEEK AGO??!!

i got a bloody headache that was killing me last wednesday.

cudnt get out of bed for 24hrs. cant even drag myself to the docs.
when i finally got my ass to the poly, i got myself 2 days mc.
all i cud do was to lie on my bed all day.
and when the 2 days mc was up, i had to drag myself to work.

this is were the excitement begins..

i tot i was fine n ready to work, but when i took the cab, my head felt like someone had shot a bullet thru it. i got to work, i settled down n ate my caffeine pills the poly docs prescribed, and the next thing i saw was bright lights. i cudnt even see my hands, my colleague saw me stumbling ard the office so she caught hold of me, and called a cab for me to go home.
she sent me to the cab, and lil bro was waiting for me under my blk, at the same time, bf was already on his way.
i knew this was something different than all the headaches i've ever had, so i had to go to the hospital. bf was my ambulance lor. i cudnt remember my journey there but i knew i puked a couple of times.

then i was put in isolation room for 5 hrs.. bf was being awesome waiting for me eventho he cant contact me; my batt was dead. docs gave me two types of meds that didnt work, so i got admitted.

landed myself on the hospital bed for 3d2n.
awesome vacation.

thruout the ordeal, bf was there for me all the while. he was there when i fell asleep, he was there when i woke up. yet i scolded him for not giving me enuff attention, for being late, for not getting me what i want.
what was i thinking?
he is everything i ever dream of, all that i ever want, yet i put him thru all this pain.
i scolded him til he cried! i must have been so horrible!
WHAT WAS I THINKING!??

I LOVE YOU BOYFRIEND, PLS FORGIVE ME.

so here i am, back at work. what i had was severe migraine. im still having it. migraines dont just cure. docs said that i am under alot of pressure and is extremely stressed out, SERIOUSLY??
im like, living the happiest moment of my life, and they say I'M STRESSED? i told them that im totally happy right now, THEN they suggest i go for a CT scan.
which cost, 400bux.
that 400bux, i'd rather go fix my teeth.
but im ok now.

im guessing the 'stress' the doctors said i was having was a stress that just hit me.
im guessing my body took a year to figure out that my heart and mind couldnt take it anymore.
im guessing nonsense.

get over it body, you shud have done that a year ago.

oh, i had Bruno Mars - Grenade on replay since morning.

2010-11-12T16:15:00.002+08:00

i think im having a subconcious depression.

life's fine, everything is smooth. nothing is wrong with it.
boyfren is still being wonderful, my rezeki makin bertambah syukur alhamdulillah.

but i feel shitty. my heart really feels heavy.
i dunnoe what else to do.

2010-10-19T16:14:00.005+08:00

i saaaaaaayaaaaaang my boyfriend!!
we celebrated our 9th wonderful month together last sunday.
he bought me THE OSIRIS SHURIKEN SHANNON I WANTED SO MUCH CUS IT LOOKS LIKE MY OLD GUMSOLE MACBETH THAT GOT LOST.
i love him so much.
oh, and i bought him the Metal Gear Solid Sony Peacewalker Mp3 he wanted.
we're stil very much in love with each other.

and then we went ice skating at kallang! the last time i went ice skating was like, abt 10 years ago? it was at jurong, with my dad who kept falling on his butt. bf and i were so terrified of slipping, that we held onto each other and to the side of the rink throughout the ordeal.
i thought we look like idiots la.

we had fun! im gona go there again one day..

and then we headed to marina sqare, and filled our tummy with Seoul Garden.
we got quite dumb in the train, maklom lah, mane nak naek public lagi kan? -action-

him: Bee, we have to alight at Dhoby Ghaut (frm Stadium Stn) right??
me: err yeah lah.. then change.

-board train, chope seats-
-count the number of stops to dhoby ghaut-
-talk cock sing song, pinch2, giggle2-

train: ESPLANADE.
him: BEE?!
train: ESPLANADE.
me: EH ESPLANADE LAH MARINA SQUARE!
him: OMG WE ALL.
-rush out-

so dumb.

we were supposed to end our day with a movie, but there were no movies that caught our attention. our legs were tired from all the walking, so we decided to head home.

OH YEAH! i dyed my hair dark red. IN LOVE WITH IT.

i am also in love with DOLLY WINKS.

I LOOK LIKE JAPANESE ANOT LAH?!

2010-10-10T22:05:00.005+08:00

i finally caught the flubug. though its not exactly flu. i kept coughing and i lost my voice this morny.

i hate being sick soo much. cant run from it cus everyone at my wrkplc was sick. didnt help that i had to cover my colleagues for the whole week, cos they hafta clear their leaves. and next week is another one filled with full shifts! argghh..

but anyways, had great time yesterday. was in town the whole day and we surprised nazra with a birthday cake mum n lala made, at esplanade's rooftop. felt so touched cos he had the same expression asri had when i surprised him with his frens on his birthday. we dont always get appreciated you know.. i love you guys.

oh man, i just sneezed and coughed. at the same time, i think i might have blew my brains out. brb. meanwhile:

and then boyfren tried on a few smartmamat jackets and blazers. omg so handsome..

i love you bee, i love everything about you.

gdnight!

2010-10-08T10:20:00.017+08:00

Skooshy has passed on.

the grandma kitty.
she was always climbing onto our laps, sniffing our foods, staring at us.
we have one thing in common, we love chicken.
she was also asri's darling. he never fails to call out to her once he reached home from work. and she will run to him like he was her hero.

but when i saw her last sunday, she wasn't her usual self. she was thin and fragile, her face looks aged, she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't even meow. she was sick for days, and confined herself in the cage they placed at the toilet.

and then this morning, at 0024hr 08/10/2010, she died.
the saddest thing i heard was, "bee, don't leave me like Skooshy did.."
T_T

R.I.P

Skooshy

19?? - 2010

♥

2010-09-30T14:23:00.004+08:00

BANGS BANGS CHOO CHOO BANGS!

AND THESE ARE OUR SMELLY FACES.

BANGS~ again.

2010-09-27T16:32:00.001+08:00

i miss my Asri.

2010-09-07T10:47:00.009+08:00

i am supposed to blog about our 7mth anni.
my wonderful bf made it a point for us to celebrate every mth.
tho, he didnt exactly say that we have to celebrate..
but cus every mth he will FOR SURE bring me out and stuffs. so yeah.. he's awesmazing. hearts.

anyway, our 7th mth.. -insert hearts-

ihavetweetedabtthissoimlazytogetintodetailsifyouguysarefreeyoucancheckoutmytweettimeline.

he told me he's bringing me out for break fast, so i dressed up. asked him where we're gg and he kept saying its a secret. shush. sooo... the secret place was sumthing i wanted to try mths ago. i dun even noe it existed.

its Yureka Teppanyaki~ the only halal teppanyaki restaurant in sg.
located at No. 5 Thong Soon Ave S(787433)
Reservation: 6458 4678
Email: Akm.daffi@gmail.com

heh.
awesome chefs showing off their skills, awesome food.

i got pictures la.

yes, we ate that whole lot.
that was in August. now IM TAKING OVER FOR OUR 8MTH on 18th Sep. i am bringing him out instead. =D i hearts you bf.

oh! and few days after our 7mth, nazra brought us to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS~
he said that it was our anni gift~ thank you!
I LOOOOOOVEEEEE THE RIDEESSS. but still, cant beat genting lah.
u noe how im afraid of heights but love falling?
i dun care how high u put me as long as i have to jump or fall after that, i'll be fine.
thats why i cant stand cable cars, sg flyer and airplanes (..in the night sky are shooting stars~)

so anyway. UNIVERSAL STUDIOS~~

more pictures on facebook.
ok im tired eventho i still cant fast today. i will be fasting for the last two days of puasa for sure. let me wish you guys in advance,

Selamat Hari Raya!
maaf zahir dan batin.
to those pple yg maseh nak semunyi2 hate tag, korang makan sudah k? makan lebih2 pon takpe, jadi cepat grow up. but its k, you're forgiven, you all are wonderful pple to the ones who love you in real life.

to my bestest fren ziela, and the rest of my bloggers n twitter frens, im honoured to have you pple in my life. I LOVE YOU, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN. halalkan makan minum saye.. see you time raye.

summore what ah.
kbye. follow me on twitter.
go google matildahling or sumfink. not gona advertise.

2010-09-04T22:54:00.001+08:00

hie. please watch this video.

it will change your life.

=)

2010-08-02T23:20:00.004+08:00

i got really disturbed by a video got tht leaked out abt the guy who was murdered in a gang fight at orchard plaza. for those who didnt noe, tht's the son of a forklift driver at my workplace.
we call him cik joe. he loves to call me 'kecik' and always like to joke ard with me. and i didnt noe aidil jepun, my fb fren, was his son, and i really didnt noe arwah boboy was aidil's bro.
so, we all went to visit cik joe and his wife at home.
when news came out, and funeral was done.. days after everything cooled down, a video leaked out showing a medic recording a badly injured tattooed malay guy, with a slit throat and guts and kidneys spilling out of him in the ambulance while making jokes and treating the situation with no sense of urgency and seriousness at all..

i got upset with what i saw, the comments and all. so i informed the bro immediately abt the existence of it. i did not want to show him the video initially but he insisted and i also thought tht i need him to identify.. n i was really glad when he told me it wasnt his bro.
and he asked if i cud help spread the msg tht its not his bro.
which i already did btw..

and then it crossed my mind that asri, my dearest bf, have to go thru all that scene almost everyday of his working life. i cant even stand 3 secs of that video and my bf have to see and attend to those kinda stuffs without a choice! how strong is that?

this reminds me of a collapse case he got few weeks ago.
bf called to tell me abt a case of an old malay couple that was quite tragic..
the husband woke up to find his wife lying unconcious on the kitchen floor. he got a neighbour to help him carry his wife back to bed and they called the ambulance saying it was a 'fall'.. ambulance came and medics found out that the wife was actually, already dead..
they told him and he cudnt really accept the news so he started telling my bf that she wud always wake up early in the morny to cook rice n prepare breakfast for him to bring to work.
and then he sed, "take a look at the kitchen sink.."
so bf went to take a look and saw a half-washed pot of uncooked rice.
the late wife did not managed to cook for him that morny.. it was the saddest thing i've ever heard.. not about the part that she did not finish cooking the rice, but for the fact that during her last few moment on earth, it was spent still trying to serve her husband!

and then the best thing that came out from bf mouth while he was recounting the story to me, "..abeh i imagine kalau kite da tue... abeh kalau tuh happen to me, i canot take it sia.."
sorry lah, but for the years i've spent being in a relationship with a guy, i never thought things like these wud cross their hard headed minds. i was the one always doing that, i like to relate sad stories and i will get a "tkmu merepek lah!" as a reply, so ni boleh dikatekan as girl's thoughts la.not that we're depressing, but we just want to remind each other to not take things for granted. guys usually dun have that thought instilled upon them. to them, it was always "something that will never happen to you one..".

but asri is different! my heart totally stopped cos this guy really got feelings sia.
omg i love him.
the only thing i dun like is his naggings.
i even joked saying, "tuh kalau happen to me, i rase u maseh bobal dgn i going 'kenape u mati dulu! kan i ckp nak mati same2? sape suru u mati dulu!?' cos you're such a nag.."

ok bye i need to sleep cos my mouth is itchy after eating sambal prawns.
sleep before i start scratching. nite.

2010-07-31T12:30:00.005+08:00

im badly irritated by the loud chinese opera/prayers/lelong/cheers going on at the field infront of my blk.

matin n yom called it a GIG.
i wish.

and i wish i got my pay now. im so poor, i might need to strike out the "oh im overpaid" line at my about page for awhile..

fuckyou RMA. i hate you pple. fuckyou so much for ruining my Singfest and SLASH tour dreams. i fucking want to see SLASH in flesh you motherfuckers. i hope one day you guys wont get paid at all cos you all eat up a portion of our pay that SHELL paid you to pay us. we got bonuses for fucking sake! GIVE US THE MONEY.

but then thanx again for helping me save those money you guys owe me.

talking abt gigs. Robin kept inviting me to gigs. you know robin, i dunoe if u read my blog anot but, if i was still single, i'll be heading to every gig u organised.

i want to, but then not nice lah pple see me gg out to gigs with you and eat pastas post-gig w/o my bf.. and my bestie da retired jadi housewife. and bf, too afraid to ask him along COS MANE DIER DGR LAGU BINGET2 AKU SUME.
dier rilekk. (rileeeekrghh)

one day i sure go la hor.. k? one day.

I WANT TO WEAR THE DESIGUAL BAG NONI (bf's sister), BOUGHT FOR ME TOMORO CAN ANOT?
im soooooo embarrassed by the fact that she always bought me stuffs everytime she travels.
like, i never ask you to buy leh.. BUT THANK YOU I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!
heh. but seriously lah, i love it so much. if i got chance to travel i will get you stuffs too.
hearts hearts love love.

im so boring nowadays.
no girl to argue about calling my cute bf 'handsome'..
no bitch to fight with about flirting with my faithful bf..
no slut to claw on about sending my dutiful bf gdnite smses..
no whore to piss on about sleeping with my loyal soulmate..

im so lucky actually, syukur alhamdulillah..
life is wonderful.

bye.

2010-07-28T12:41:00.000+08:00

oh looky.
i gots archive.

k bye.

2010-07-15T22:05:00.005+08:00

i love having boyfren as breakfast.
i mean, having breakfast with boyfren.
can i name him baby boyfren now?
yes, i love having breakfast with my baby boyfren.

he look so cute in the morny. and he smells like milk. eventho he's lactose intolerant.
like perfect to have bfs smelling like milk. dunnoe why dun ask me.

n yea i've been neglecting my blog cus i have twitter now.
AND I DUN SEE THE NEED TO BRING IN THE PICTURES FROM MY FB AND TWITTER TO BLOGGER.
but then again, i forgot abt the pple who loves reading my blog.

i dun even bother to see if anyone has left a comment anot sia.. or how many pple have been visiting.

still, i wanna update.
life has been soooo wonderful to me.
pejam celik dah nak 6mths with asri, the baby boyfren.
ALOT OF THINGS HAPPENED. srsly i cant see it happening with anyone else anymore.
i just want it to be him. my loveness asri.

so anyways,
i dun like working anymore. i feel like asking my mader to sponsor me for sch.
merepek kan prangai. but then gaji da best.
u noe why i stress at work anot? i hate the politics with bosses and big asses.
i have great colleagues but the atas pple sux.
i hate my weekly pay even tho everyweek is a bomb.
i hate the fucking married with kids buayas at work.
yes. i ESPECIALLY HATE THEM.
its like, if i go to work, the first thing i think abt is them. (no actually its asri, figure of speech la sket.)
like wtf is next yo? or which way should i walk to avoid seeing them.
if this whole thing is an msn, i wud wanna login as offline.
nabe cheebye one of the buaya even waited for me outside work k.

let me tell u more abt them.
theres nizam. theres mazlan. there was azhar.
and theres azmi n mohsien.
nizam mazlan n azhar are fucking blood bros. their dad works here too.
nizam is married with 3 kids aged 4-12. mazlan, aka lan, is not married but has a gf called marni who was my colleague in shell who is, ofcos, not working there anymore.
azhar, we call him aza, used to work in shell abt a year ago.

nizam loves winking n flying kisses, touching my hair, kissing my hands everytime we talk. dun get me wrong. i will resist, like walk away, pull my hands away, shout, scream major jelingan but he will still insist on talking to me. he wud want to send me home eveynite we're on the same shift together. i hv only let him do that once. just to shut him up n not make a scene.
there was one time (in band camp),he followed me out of the shell gates afterwork cos he gets high doing it. when we were outside and i was trying to run away from him, he got hold of my hands and tried to kiss it. i brushed him away cos asri was already waiting for me. and yes, asri saw everything and gave him a death stare so deadly, nizam just walked away without turning back.
you know what they say when sumone who isnt always angry gets angry its scary. it made nizam disappear for the while.
but i still think nizam wants to see me naked with his cum allover my body in bed with him at sum shady hotel room.

mazlan. the lil bro of nizam. mazlan is younger not married fucking matrep who acts like a big fuck. my fren marni fell for his fucking fake charms and kinda lost her job in shell cos of him. they're still together but since marni is no more in shell, this fucking matrep is like ulat bulu naek daun.
he will faithfully wait for me for about 4hrs (his job ends at 4.30pm my afternoon shift ends at 8.30pm) to end work just to send me home. or he will 'coincidentally' be outside of our workplace in a very nice clothes everynite i finish my shift to 'coincidentally' be able to send me home.
whenever i queue for food, he will pop out of nowhere to queue behind me and jaga the sleeves of my safety jacket so that it will not dip into the sambal that im scooping.
and he will push my chair in n out cos he hafta walk behind me to get to the other side of he table even if the other is fucking empty.
and he will want to cool his hot cuppa coffee down on my side of the canteen aircon evetho we all noe it doesnt help much.
tell me im not hallucinating that i have a stalker..
this guy, however, noes exactly when n where asri will be fetching me cos when asri fetches me, HE IS NOT IN SIGHT. NINABEYCHAOCHEEBYE.

azhar. the eldest bro. no longer seen in shell. probably behind bars for a rape case or manslaughter. THIS GUY. have the hots for my mum. he sed my mum was a MILF. u fucking psycho. i think my mum destroyed his fucking self esteem cos MY MOMMA'S SO BIG, SHE MADE HIS HUGE EGO LOOK LIKE HIS LIL WEENY, that made him turn to the daughter instead. he will come to my office n open the windows just to ask for my number almost everyday. he will show me his parang battlescars from a fight at memo with sum otai skinheads on his arms and thought it wud turn me on like how minahreps gets wet looking at those bloody unattended cuts under that selfbandanged tattooed skin.
but he's not a problem anymore, im just adding him up to the skills their father had taught them.

mohsien n azmi. they're like small fry la. mohsien is better looking n looks richer but still.. married with kids. prangai like too scared to cheat on wife but just want to get high flirting with me. likes to offer me rides home in his impreza. but he's nothing. azmi lagik small fry ikan bilis canot make it. ugly short fat balding. dunoe anything but act know only. also nothing, but still irritating.

haiz.
so yeah. shell comes with big paycheck without much work to do but u hafta handle buayas everyday. fair enuff.

-.-

i still love asri.

2010-07-14T00:40:00.001+08:00

hang on baby,
its only two weeks.

heeeee...

2010-06-29T21:20:00.002+08:00

wah. haha. dun remove me frm ur links yet yaw.

bf's just collected my laptop yesterday right reaching singapore from kl. so expect me to blog more! im in loooove with this thing. the keyboard so nice.

so anyway so many things happened lah!
had the most wonderful time with him in KL.
did things we never did before. we got lost looking for petaling. cos we refuse to take the cab around.

i got pictures. but not many of them cos, cos i never bring my camera tht my bf bought for me on my bday cos i tot we are not gona need a digital 'holga' for travelling cos his bb camera is better than that and that we are not gona snap alot of picture anyways cos its only the two of us. T_T but he actually wanted to snap alot of photos. so he scolded me. thnk u very much.

and then we shop too much. spent RM600 on first day oredy. got our vans, his billy marks deck, my emerica (wallet to match his).
me: you pakai wallet ape?
him: i pakai wallet emerica.
me: ok lah i pon pakai wallet emerica uhh...

thts how we always mock couples wearing matching stuffs.

and then i had fish spa n back massage while he had fish spa and foot massage.
i cant stand the fish spa. i felt like scooping them all up and bring home give my mader to goreng. bodo peh ikan gigit2 kaki org for wad. BUT IT WORKS. MY FEET SOOOO CLEAN. I LOVE FISH SPA.

and then what ah i forget.

CAN I BLOG AGAIN SUM OTHER TIME? NAK TGK CSI AH.

K BYE.

2010-06-11T16:46:00.002+08:00

i didnt get paid for last week again lah! nabey!
if i knew this was gona happen, i wudnt have paid courts that much.
i love weekly pay cos im not gona be broke, BUT IT SUX WHEN U PAID UR BILL (sum not even mine, its tragic!) WITH ALL THE PAY U GOT FOR THE WEEK THINKING THAT YOU'LL GET MONEY AGAIN NEXT WEEK, but u didnt becos your stupid boss FORGET to approve. T~T

and i was looking forward to the pc show abeh now no money. okeh lah have lah.
talking abt pc shows, bf went there with lala n nazra on the 2nd day.

abes tuh he got me a laptop.
i still dunnoe what laptop exactly. a lenovo but dunoe wad.
yay.
no wait, i do noe. lenovo u460. k lah, got better laptops than that BUT THE HELL RITE GET FOR FREE WHEN U SIGNUP MOBILE BROADBAND. windows 7! -gelek2 at asri's face- and my prev netbook was a lenovo too.. so ok. i cant wait to get my hands on it..

and i still cudnt get over what happened during my 2hr lunch break with asri last friday.
WE'RE SO CUTE! police sebok.

so, on the 3rd day of the event, i went with asri, fazli, jojo n matin. i didnt get anything cos, COS EVERYTHING BELOM OFFER SANGAT. i love going there on the last day.. puas hati gitu tgk discounts nyer.. but then bf keje.

this weekend saturday, asri is gona cook for the picnic he organised. i was upset cos i have a stockcount to do.. but of cos im gona be there. then on sunday, im gona have a gathering with my sec sch frens.

i cant wait for KL! we're gona stay at Melia THE LEVEL. becos bf insist.
club floor buat ape tah.. flying off next saturday~
and then i shall shop til i drop.

okay bye.
(hahahah still no pictures cos i still lazy..)

k da.

2010-06-09T17:39:00.002+08:00

makcik ni da lupe camne nak blog.

there's so many pictures for me to resize here so i got lazy.
but anyways, here's an update about me:

lets see..
went to portugal with my family and asri and nazra on 1st-3rd June.
got married to asri there in one of their beautiful resorts.
got pregnant a week later woohoo.

OKAY CUT!!

i went to port dickson with them lah. portugal my ass.
asri's first time driving in malaysian road. he got nervous under WATCHFUL eyes.
so they heard how we communicate with each other, poor thing.
got my menses there while on the road so ASRI was my punching bag. i will never forgive myself. he was too cute to remain angry with.
even mum n lala sed, "eh kak, dah lah..takmu marah dier..tkbleh angkat ah muke dier kesian sangat.."

tuh bukan muke kesian! tu muke sposen!
but he was wonderful and i was very guilty.
=(

we visited melaka n KL too.
and then..
...

and then we went home.

and then i and asri will be heading to KL in two weeks time.
bali will after KL.
after bali im heading for bangkok.
best kapeer.

I GOT PICTURES BUT I LAZY LAH TO PUT HERE!!
SO WAIT LAH HOR.

2010-05-27T17:43:00.006+08:00

ONCE YOU POP,

YOU CAN'T STOP.

2010-05-23T11:35:00.005+08:00

im supposed to sleep for at least 12hrs today, but nooo. i woke up at 7am to wait for asri's call cos he wanted me to accompany him throughout his journey to work, but my hp was actually dead n i fell asleep.
i had to wake up at 8am to shit.

then i cant sleep back.

so i took my camera, and snap shots n shots of my matrep.

-.-

had great fun yesterday with asri. he never fail to brighten up my day. dad was being the most annoying being on earth. we siblings couldnt talk to him anymore.
we chose to turn him invisible.

yes, we all have that power.

so anyway,
yesterday:

the forgotten Guess boots i got from my late granddad. can forget for almost 7 years ah. yesterday then get to wear.

ok bye i need to get ready and kidnap a monchichi.

see you.

2010-05-20T08:12:00.005+08:00

im sick again.
i got my lymph nodes swollen over possible internal infection. swollen lymph nodes usually means the body is fighting badly over an infection.
at least that was what the blood test showed.
if it doesnt go away after my antibiotics course is done, means its somthing else.
this sickness took away so much energy, that all i can do was to lie down in bed the whole day. i cant move around without being in pain and asri was there to entertain me thruout the ordeal at my bedside. it was also our 4th mthsary.
turn by turn sia penyakit.
it wun be a shock lah if i one day say im dying of cancer. (touchwood choy2.)

BUT BEFORE I DIE, THERE IS LIST OF THINGS I WANNA DO, AND IF IM DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER I DUN THINK I WILL TELL ANYONE LOR. unless of cos, mintak simpati.
-pukes-

so anywayyyy,
i had a great weekend. its a great weekend all the time and everyday is a great day with this guy la.. just lemme remember wad i did with bf n frens in correct order, wait ah have to browse thru fb pictures for awhile.
.
..
...
....
...
..
.

ok so, we went to bugis on friday cos we were supposed to have a movie date with nazra n lala. but tk jadi lor. cos bf was still not feeling well n his NEW blackberry got spoilt and we wanted to send it for replacement but kedai da tutop cos we spent so much time deciding wad to do and i was too comfortable nesting myself under his armpit at home..
-.-

but we met them at bugis anyways to have dinner at the Next Door Cafe.
here are some retarded pictures..
we all look that way in real life. all crossed eye and spastic.

and then saturday was spent with his family. he drove his mum, nona n me, to the singtel building to get a replacement for his NEW and spoilt blackberry. we had to wait a century for an empty carpark lot in that fucking building.

while waiting for his replacement, kite sume men-shopping at ION. bought stuffs from uniqlo. queued up for the nicest takoyaki in the world. IT WAS A LONG QUEUE.
and then back to get the handphone, and then we sent his mum n nona home and then headed to the library for me to borrow more books. i am currently reading 3 books at the same time.

nona then randomly asked us out for a movie with zamri a couple of hours later. we agreed, well i agreed, cos i dowanna go home early. so nona booked the tix and we watched Robin Hood at The Cathay. poor asri was the sleepy driver. love you baby.

and then they all sent me home on sunday morny after the movie.

AND THEN SUNDAY. i woke up with mum screaming at the top of her lungs.
makes me feel like not waking up sia. she was blasting her vocal chords at ridz who was whining about cleaning up the goddamn emptied house. we threw stuffs away yet the house was still, a mess.

after cleaning up, we 3 sisters decided to meet our boyfrens. so we 187-ed to nazra's bus stop where the meeting point was, and asri picked us up with his car and headed to town cos lala had to work in the evening. we managed to get a meal.

aww so sweet.. not like the retarded ones above hor..
while nazra send lala off to work, and lydia n boyfren went missing, asri n i went to the toysRus to get, well, TOYS.

you got it. NERF guns.
and then, we shot each other at the backseat of the car at westcoast carpark becos it was raining and we had nothing to do.
a very illogical explaination.

but anyway, i love asri.
i love that he can do kental stuffs with me and not be too abg2 or serious abt things. i love that i can give him the fullest trust i can ever give to anyone, now, and know that it will never be crushed. i love that i can wake up every morning knowing that he'll still be mine, that he will call me in a few seconds to wish me a good morning and to remind me that he loves me and that he will still be the father of the rest of my children. i love it that i have never asked him to do any of the things he did, that it came sincerely from his heart.
this, i can handle everyday of my life.
no more heartaches, no more worries.
im brave enough to say that now cos he's still the loving guy i knew 4 mths ago.
even better..

things will get better if you move on.
i was never a believer of that, i was always a stayer. stay and pray that things will change for the better. and i got proven wrong in the most horrific way.

so please please pleaseeeee.
listen to me and move along.

OH I FORGOT TO BLOG ABOUT ASAP.

poor matrep, never came home and was out of sight for a few days, suddenly came back on day, whining at our frontdoor with his ears snipped off. SOMEONE SENT HIM FOR THE STERILIZATION. hahahahahaha. sundal sangat kan. padan muke kao. da gitu baru nak balek. matrep.

2010-05-13T17:19:00.005+08:00

i was missing him too much, and was very worried so i went to his house right after my shift ended on wed night.
lala n nazra dropped by and hanged out for awhile.
my poor baby looked sunken and tired, i wish i had known him long enough to stay over and sayang2 him thru the night.
not that i cant. but you noe..

so after that we left for home, with nazra. we are the 187 couples. we 3 sisters find guys who lives in the area where bus no. 187 passes.. sick.

so anyway, PLEASE BOYFRIEND, GET WELL SOON, i love you so much.
im the most worried person on earth.
i was so worried i cameover the morny after. he thought he was ok and decided to meet me outside for breakfast. but he's NOT. tsk2.
poor boy was still weak. so we decided to eat at home.

and then i left him for work after breakfast n stuffs.
today we shall see if he's well enuff for double movie date with nazra n lala.

EH MY BLOG IS ALL ABOUT HIM ONE AH.

lets talk about that vougelicious afez for awhile. turns out the girl he beat was my fren's niece.
i was like, "tgk ni video!! bodo ni pompan taktau nak fite balek! bengap sak!!"
and then the other fren was like, "ni kan iskandarnyer anak sedare."
then that guy was like, "..."
so i was like, "..O_O"

-.-

and i think this whole thing basi oredy so pple shud stop being so dramatic abt it.
THEY ARE REALLY BEING DRAMATIC OVER IT.

god.

2010-05-12T13:20:00.005+08:00

"bee, you dah update blog?"

heh. finally.
sorry lah i had alot of stuffs going on that i just had to ignore blogging.
asri got unwell couple of days ago, and went to the doctor's yesterday. i woke up early to accompany him there with his mum and then nona n noni dropped by. so lucky rite got 4 girls.
so doctor granted him 3 days mc. and then i sent him home and stayed for awhile, and sayang2 him to sleep before going to work in the afternoon.
i was so worried cos he was having fever, diarrhea n flu.
and then he went quiet for like, 12hrs?
i cudnt sleep last night cos i cudnt get thru him n didnt want to disturb his family, and when he finally contacted me early this morny, he was otw to the hospital.
CAN U IMAGINE HOW I FELT?
almost in tears. cos im working full shift today. means i cant be there with him

so anyway, he got into observation bay for a few frantic hours and was discharged right after.
he's home now. i really want to get out of work and be by his side. im such a useless gf.

ok let me update about last week.

last wednesday was asri 1st day off. he told me told me to wear my most comfortable shoes so i got my smellyjanes on. he then brought me around town after i ended work for me to tryout my camera~ had the time of my life snapping it around.
but i stil have not uploaded a single pic.
eh wait he upload oredy.

i loveeee it lah. it looks so toyish but the picture mcm like whoa.
oh and i bought a puma lift.

our plan was to find him the puma lift that he showed me in the net, but i was the one buying a pair in the end.
its all asri's fault. he told me to try it on.
and once i try a shoe on, for sure will buy one.
i still cant believe i bought a running shoe.

and then thursday, i cabbed to his house right after work to find him with muke baru bangon tido at 3 in the afternoon mcm like lost cat. hungry and smelly. but his smelly is different. mintak kene gigit. after getting ready, he drove us to clementi to eat, SUSHI!!
I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO EAT SUSHI WITH A BOYFREN AND HE MADE IT HAPPEN.
OHHH THE LOVE.
i love asri to death.

and then we went fetching his mom from work at novena OH!! n he found the shoes he wanted at novena! for a steal. -_- we now have couple's shoes. SOOOO corny. i hate anything couple's except for rings. even couple's watches is out of my taste.

and then met matin and lala, and we jogged at champions way.

with OUR new shooeees.

can i skip to saturday?
yes i can. saturday, jo said that theres a flea market going on at mt emily. his gf opened a stall so we decided to support.
i was working but managed to rush back, get ready and get nazra to bring me n lala there.
we got lost, along with our cash cos the taxi driver is a sucks.
there wasnt any atm so I AND LALA ATTACKED NAZRA FOR CASH. cos u noe, its a flea market. but it was quite disappointing cos most stalls were closed and the ones that are left are erm, hmmm..

yes i did sumthing to my hair.
we saw one dress that we fell in love with and bought it right away. ONLY ONE.
we then decided to head down to iluma cos jo sed his sister is tending another flea market stall. the 3 of us headed to iluma 1st but we didnt see one there so i went off leaving lala n nazra cos i had to fetch my baby from work. so i cabbed from town to jrg fire stn. got to his house, folded his messy wardrobe together with him, and then he got ready and we went out to catch our midnight movie. it was Ironman 2.

great movie ok. i love every part of it. and i was glad i stayed till the credits ended for the movie coda. i love boyfren.

and then it was sunday.
it was what the boys call 'Simple Sunday Sesh' that turned to 'Sunday Shirt Skating Sesh' with hadi in a polo.
they look so, hot.
i shud be punished for having the advantage to drool at them without looking like a cat in heat.

no, i did not get horny looking at nazra n shafiq n hadi n asri skate.
its just a saying.
tsk.

so anyways. i kept eating. cos i got nothing else to do. and then they finally decide to head home. and then asri sent me home.

and then it was monday.
they day he fell sick. tsk.
we love mondays, dont we?

grrr.
so anyways its already wednesday, halfway thru the week. im on full shift today covering kelly. barely can open my eyes. sweeeeee skali timing nak kene full shift when he's sick..

oh! its the ex's bday today.
happy 22nd birthday, ex.
have a blast.

2010-05-10T18:25:00.002+08:00

WORK!? can you please let me blog? srsly.
i got lotsa pics to upload and my blog is empty.

WILL COME BACK SOON.

2010-05-04T23:00:00.005+08:00

oh hai.
come lemme continue about my awesmazing 22nd birthday.
where did i stop? the camera.

yes THE camera.
after drooling with tears on his cooking, i checked out the camera.
it was love at first touch hor.
u guys can check out the test run album in my fb profile.

we totally used it for the wrong reasons. and i forgot to switch off datestamp and ruined the whole album. what can i say, we are camwhores. we do any cameras brainlessly. -slaps ownself-

so after that we went to our hotel, left our stuffs, and went out to cineleisure to watch The Burning Sheild performing. they said they wanted to dedicate me a song BUT THE BDAY GIRL GOT STUCK IN THE PEAK HOUR'S JAM. T_T

when i reached they just ended. wehh.
but was great to meet Feqa, Ziela and all.

right after that, my family fetched us from town to arab st, for the bday girl to blanje all dinner. how fun. a bday girl blanja-ing all.
we went to the Next Door Cafe, the place asri brought me when we first started talking. -blush-

after dinner, we headed to marina barrage for sum kite flying/watching. we left them at esplanade.

oh i forgot to mention, 27th april was dad's bday, he brought us all to lot 1's delifrance for dinner. asri was there too, it was heartwarming.

soo anyway. i stayed over with asri for the night. he was the sweetest love ever.
woke up, got home, changed and then i went to work.

yes. work on 1st may. work on labour day.
oh have i mentioned? work on 1st may labour day for FREE?
my heart is that big.

after work ended, met lala, who managed to sneaked out of the burning hell (home), at the MRT.
where we waited for asri for 2 whole hrs. i was damn pissed off la. i have the patience. i can wait.
heck, i can bloody wait for anyone a whole day if they'll at least update whats happening.
this asri, whoaaaaa...

but then the moment i saw him, nak marah pon tak jadi lah.
sposen betol muke dier.
plus he was very apologetic, and i found out it wasnt his fault, cos he had to get the car from changi, fetch cousins from eastside, get back to west side, and then to the north.
he really got bad time judgement.(frm lot 1 to matin's plc 5min ah bee? u racing wad brand one?)
but i stil love him cos he's awesome.

so where were we heading?

PAINTBALL!! at full force.
noni, nona, zamri, sham, asri, nazra, hadi, me, lala, and 3 of his relatives.
it was nazra's and lala's first meetup. wahahahahaha. (i shud stop poking them at right about... never? maahaaargh!)

had fun, got bruised, left happy to another happy place.. jalan kayu!
ape lagi, murtabak chicken lah! and then zamri added ikan pari to our table.
lala got the naan set.
the way we makan, made asri's cousins stop and stare.
"you all small sized but eat alot eh?"

we dunnoe where we got it from yo.

and then sleepy asri sent lala n me home.
i had to meet nisa at home cos i bought the facial product she was selling. nisa is the ex's ex.
how fun.
so anyway, we sisters decided to try it out. at a cost.
180bux per set sia. we're recording the before, during and after pictures.
stay tuned for that.
so anyways, we got the house to ourself cos the rest went missing.
even grandma was missing along with them.
slept quite late with aching limbs.

oh! we even got an encounter lah kan.
we were sitting in the living room watching teevee with the main door closed. we then heard sumone trying to open it. thinking it was them, we ignored. but the door wasnt opened for the next coming second. so i went over to the door and looked through the peephole.
while looking and noting that there wasnt anyone outside, with my eyes still plastered on the peephole, the fucking door went BOOM (shingz..) as if sumone was still trying to open it from outside, throwing me a step backward.
i gave it a silent curse instead of prayers. i turned and stared at lala, who was already staring at me. i went to her, sat down and continued watching teevee..
stupid ghost, told you that you are not welcomed inside.

and thennnn it was sunday.
a lazy2 sunday.
woke up late morny, got ready, cabbed down to jurong with lala tagging along.
met asri and nazra, and went with them and the rest to amk for their skating session.
had a blast with nazra's camera.

ooh. talking abt cameras..
i had a bad day today cos you didnt pay.
but boyfren was there to save my day.
superhero working overtime. greatest i've ever seen.

ok bye.

2010-05-02T23:42:00.003+08:00

i hate to stay up late.
i hate the feeling of being watched. kalau nak watch pon, tunjok lah diri. its unfair to watch me when i cant watch you back.
cudnt sleep last week's sat night, so i cleaned my room.
its a mess. unfolded clothes covered half of my bed. greentea bottles allover the floor. strands of hair, empty plastics, atm reciepts. bluergh.
nnn then, the moment my room is cleaned up, this happens.

dimane ader taik, disitu ade lalat. taik betol.

and boyfren likes to barge into my room whenever he's here, so must tidy it up lah kan. i hate the empty feeling of sleeping in a queensize bed alone.
my right side, bf shud be there EVERYNIGHT. ~_~

ohh!! got my pay again last friday and this friday, im lovin it.
and since the bubu got himself a blackberry cos i got one, WE WENT OVERBOARD WITH THE BBM. OVER THE TOP.
bbm.. oh lifesaver. forget smses man. wads with the 5cents per text msg?
action lah pulak.
next victim will be lala n mum n asri's bff, NAZRA.

so where did i go last sat. NOWHERE.
k lah allover singapore. to support asri being a hypocrite.
pegi skate bawak gf.
-.-
actually im the one who wanted to follow him lor (but i waited for him to ask cos idowantobetheclingygftypeofgirlanymore)cos, u noe, i was kinda, at the hidden little corner of my heart, SCARED that he might fall and injured himself again.

when a KAKAK ELDEST go steady with an ADEK LELAKI LAST, this happens. my hands automatically took out tissue wipe his sweaty face n then i'll stop and go, " =O KAWAN DIER KAN ADER OMG WATY." i do that to babies. to ridz when he's small, to monchichi everytime.. and then i paiseh alone. T_T

but instead of hearing jeers or nasty jokes from his frens, nazra came to me and our convo went on like this:

nzr: we're boring guys for boyfrens.
me: huh why u say that?
nzr: cos we skate and leave the gf alone.
me: BUT IM OK! cos u noe, he just, skates..?
nzr: but i've met girls who cant stand this. that dude, *points2*, is just lucky to have you.
me: heh. but i noe who, i can see when i was with her.
nzr: who?
me: -mouths name-
nzr: i noe, u can just say it out, i dun mind. -skates off-
asri: HAH? ape? nape bee?

hmm...
im glad he didnt make fun of asri, but im just sad that he didnt get what he wanted.
he shud go out with lala lah rite? lala got middlechildsyndrome, sure loving one cos she understand how it is to feel left out.

HAHAHAHEHAHUE.

and i've taken out fats from unwanted places and put them on needed spots so im HAPPY with how i look now. =D u see the tummy flat anot. FLAT ANOT?!!! one week rite. actually right after i eat, the pouch comes out again.

then sunday. went thru a couple of unfortunate events before heading out for town and having a great day. went out the whole day, shopped for my bras n dragged bf too. infact he even CHOSE them for me! whoaaa.. n i splurged again. bought 4 sets from triumph boutique at ION, cos can bring the boyfren in the pretty lil fitting rooms. =D

1ST suay thing that happened was tayar dier pancit, not much hassle cos it was already pancit-ed for a long time, so he pumped air after washing the car at esso near my house.
AND THEN, i had to get my lenses at woodgrove. so he stopped by the bus stop and went with me to the shop eventho i told him i cud go alone.

and when we came back, 2ND- THE ENGINE CANOT START LIAO LOR. batt died. kancheong starts. but i've been in this situation maaaaanyak kali. so i called mum who told me to do stuffs that was already playing inside my head. n then she decided to gimme the apek mechanic's number like she can read my mind. i love my mom.
so i called and he came and didnt want to jump start the car BUT WANTED TO CHANGE THE WHOLE BATTERY TO A BRAND NEW ONE. so change lor. kat tepi road tuh jugak.

-.-

back to shopping, after bra shopping, we bought the yummiest takoyaki (takopachi?) in the whole wide world. and headed to arab st to have 'dinner' with my ite gengs. MARYA WAS THERE HOKAY!!

blanja-ed them sheesha.

heh. ok then we fetched lala, and headed back home. after that i forgot wad happened.
what i remembered was working more than 12hrs everyday.
and then falling very2 sick.

and then it was my bday.
slept and woke up with fever. i dunoe what went wrong with my body system. but i still wanted to go out.
took leave on friday and went out with asri dearest.
the moment i saw him, my heart skipped. and i felt better.
he was, carrying a paper bag and the bag on his back was like, bulging.

and then we cabbed to west coast, cos he sed he wanted to 'blanja makan'. then i was thinking, 'at mac...hokay.'
but he took me to the place we went before.. during our first few days together. sat there and he took out food that he packed inside that paperbag. so i thought again, 'oh kiuttttt. picnic!'
and then he sed he cooked it. T~T he coookeedddddd! i hugged him and teared ok. he made the sauce himself summore! so sedap, i finished the whole serving. omg ilovehim.

and then he handed me a box. AFUCKINGBOXOFCAMERA.
not just any camera. but a Yashica. the camera i drooled on when he showed me the link to a guy's photoalbum from that camera. a camera that made me google its price and reviews. a camera that made think abt it for a few nights before i sleep. and now its minnneeeeeee-nuh.

omg im sleepy i'll have to continue this tomorrrrrooo..

stay tuned.

2010-04-29T18:16:00.002+08:00

i'm sick.
on the eve of my birthday.
im saving up my energy for my tomorrow, with my only one.
will update and summarise the whole week's event in a post after this.

see you all, pray for me to get well yo.

2010-04-23T15:26:00.006+08:00

boyfriend got a blackberry.

BOYFRIEND GOT A BLACKBERRY!

BOYFRIEND

GOT

A

BLACKBERRY!!!

HEY BLACKBERRY!
hey, HEY BLACKBERRY!

=D

2010-04-22T01:47:00.007+08:00

im wide awake. was supposed to sleep after hanging up wit bf, but.. O_O

so i decided to blog A VERY LONG POST..
lets start with boyfren's bday. (its all about him now, isn't it?)

shopped for his bday gift with aziela for the first round and lala for the second round.
in between shopping with ziela i sempat cut hair.

and then the next day went shopping with lala, sempat makan best2 kat jalan kayu with family and selit sheesha at night with lynn and tutz n gfs.. wakaka.

mum wanted to buy him that chicken..

got home, hung on the phone with him, wished him when the clock strikes 12. and then my kancheongness starts..
i cudnt really sleep cos i kept replaying what im supposed to do or say later in the day. i have to work, so frens gotta help.
i roped ziela in earlier but she got ill and cudnt wake up on time so nina became the saviour.

woke her up and almost cried cos i was a kancheong spider oredy. i wish i cud just get off from work n do it by myself, and when she sed she cud help, i never thanked god as much as did that day.
skipped lunch so i cud pass nina his gifts, told her where to go and what to do, and she and her bf did as told.

and then work ends. bday boy decided to fetch me frm work even when i told him i wanted to go home to change before spending my time with him. so he sent me home, sat on my massage chair while waiting for me to get ready. all the time i was texting nina for updates.
we then we proceed to the place that HE CHOSE in the morny itself.

i checked in at a speed so he started throwing questions. i felt like duct taping his mouth. he was like a lil boy asking, "mummy why is the sky blue?"
but of cos, my love for him was too great for me to do such things.
and then i gave him the key, and told him to open the door to the room, was quite nervous myself cos i havent seen the room.
and there it was, arranged nicely on the bed, his gifts. totally gotta give it to nina n bf. power lah korang. syg korang.

abeh bday boy maseh blur lor,

him: eh? they give watch?
me: thats your present from me lah baby.
him: =O
me: =D and a ring too. yg ni my one..
him: =O

tsk2.
he asked me how i did it, n i told him it was magick.. and then he threw me on the bed. =X

happy ah.

that was surprise part one, surprise part two was held the next night.

fazli came up to me a day before his bday, and told me to plan sumthing up for asri's frens cos, "dier salu ingat bday org, even bday dier, dier yg blanje org i heard.."
baek sangat.. tsk.
so makcik ni immediately thought of a plan lah.

it was quite last minute so i was busy texting every single of his frens i cud get hold of. he was with me the whole night n morning after, so he was very suspicious abt who i was texting. he sent me off to work, angry.
this is when i found out he was, erm, a paranoid. RABAK PEH.
ape tak, aku pon menambah, org tuh tanyer "sape ni msg2 u?", aku jawab, "scandal.."

so he got angry and stuff and i got scared and almost wanted to give up surprising him. -.-
sepak muke.
to see someone who rarely gets angry, GETS ANGRY, is like end of the world.
i swear i dunnoe whether to laugh or to cry when he waited outside my workplace that night for me to finish work and i ask him over the phone, "you marah eh?" and he answered, "you kluar skg tgk i marah ke tak." in the most scariest tone everghhh!

he was with matin who was acting with me abt 'urgent want to go to RP toilet' and stuffs. he was stil super angry with me and was not talking much to me over the 'scandal' who texted me.
when we brought him over to the place where his frens hid behind a wall and popped out singing the happy bday song, his face was bloody priceless.
abit blunder tho cos the kanak2 budu yg laen lambat giler, bday boi da suspect kuat. but still the 'surprise' was a sweet one with all of his frens gathering over pizzas and catch ups. (HAHAAA! pizzas n ketchups!! ok lame..)

and then my day ended there. i think tasha got more pictures.
im now dealing with his neverending apologies for being angry at me when i was actually planning stuffs for him. i mite be able to fulfil my desire of duct taping his mouth.
sedih tao.. tsk.
n i love his frens. i have to thank all of them, they all bleh ajak rompak one.. ajak rompak kene tangkap one..

i love my asri.. so much.
i'll do anything to see him smile.
and i never ever ever want to see him get angry like that again.

im very sleepy now.
kbye.

2010-04-21T18:33:00.005+08:00

from every side the cold winds blow
you know why
and I know why

and we will see what will be
what the next year holds
as every turning leaf lets go
another minute folds

all my life I thought I knew the road ahead
oh what a strange world
it's a strange world of shadow and light
oh but isn't it funny how the time goes by
when all of the while you're wondering how to say goodbye
goodbye

every day and night you're gone
I'll be missing you
but I'm going to be brave
the way you want it to be

oh let it all come down on me
every year every week every day every memory
I'll keep my mind open
the way you want it to be

I will miss you
I will miss you
I will miss you
always

T_T dun ask me why i emo. im a woman. will post about bf's bday surprise(s) soon. i hate my bloody hormones.

2010-04-20T19:57:00.002+08:00

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is so full of
Ah la la la la la la life is so rough
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life is meaningful
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life it is...so... wonderful
It is so meaningful
It is so wonderful
It is meaningful
It is wonderful
It is meaningful
It goes full circle
Wonderful
Meaningful
Full circle
Wonderful

2010-04-19T08:07:00.001+08:00

"Because you won't know how wonderful someone is until you've experienced the worst." -asri

-sobs-

2010-04-19T00:36:00.005+08:00

I AM A NERVOUS WRECK.

kthxforlisteningbye.

2010-04-18T10:20:00.002+08:00

its the 18th. and its our 3rd month today. he called and wished me rite after my watch beeped at 12midnight. sayangnyer..

im not meeting him today tho. he's on night shift and im meeting my gfs.
wad a bummer.
but we're gona celebrate his bday tomoro lah kan.

rite now, im going to jalan kayu to have my fix of chicken murtabak.
I CAN EAT THE WHOLE CHICKEN MURTABAK ALONE.

kbye.

2010-04-17T14:29:00.001+08:00

"Why are you all wet, baby?"

hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
kbye.

2010-04-17T09:14:00.007+08:00

im so pissed at work with you, oh married man.
i noe u want me to move to my mama's VS post so u can bring in your ex-gf to my post.
oh married man, i am not gona leave you, ever. i am gona be here every working day to see your face, even if you're angered by the fact that i did not follow you to the hotel and open my legs wide for you to enter, cos i have loved my ex when u asked last time.
and if u ask me now, im sorry, cos i love my bf.. so no. pick every petty mistakes i made, complain to every person u meet,
dig my every dirt if u can, i am not gona move my butt away from you.
i am so in loathe with you.

so anyways. saw Shutter Island last night with the bubu at vivo after having our meal at the banquet. everytime i hear vivo, i will think of thaksin beef noodles, but this guy brought me to the banquet to eat salmon. and then he bought me the turkish delight from candy empire.
he sed, "you are the only date-" and then i went, "DATE?!!", and then he was like, "tsk! when we were dating, you are the only date that i didnt buy chocolates for.."
omg, lets break up and date again and then buy me chocolates. k?
oh, n do you noe, turkish delight is like chocolates for old women.. ask every atas nyonya they will tell you that they like turkish delight, cos i met one in marks n spencer n i had an old colleague that loves this thing.. so i think im old. (my bday's coming yo!)

and then we finally found the book he was looking for at PageOne. the last piece summore.
klah klah, its SKINHEADS by John King.
i noe rite..

i love him.
cos he's like, (READERS DISCRETION ADVISED!!) the yummiest guy i've ever eaten? =X
EH NO LAH. where got obscene.

and then he uploaded this picture that i snapped from his phone without my knowledge.

actually im just uploading it here cus my blog's past few entries are pictureless

hi baby, i malas to plan for your bday.
kbye.

2010-04-16T10:36:00.009+08:00

i hate to see you that way. i hate to see how every dick hurt you that way. i wish i was a guy so i can love you the way you deserve it. dont think of it in a wrong manner, but you noe.. i just wish i can give you what i cant give you as a bestfriend.
u dunoe the tears i've cried, the anger i felt, the things i wish i cud do, seeing you cry like that..

for fuck sake, give her a break in this field.
dont say its karma, its not appropriate.
dont even smirk, cos you gonna feel the exact same feeling one day.
it's gona come to you soon. i've been there n i've promised myself not to be there again.

so anyways..
im still in pain u noe. and no i did not visit the doctor for checkup cos i noe they'll just give more meds for me to swallow and i have to pay them more moneehh$.
of all the things that asri 'taught' me that i will obey, TAKING MEDS IS NOT ONE OF THEM.
i will only eat meds if i feel like dying. so go to hell baby ur fierceness wont budge me.
(k i lied, he scares the shit out of me wen he's angry.)

i wanted to fetch him from work on wednesday night but instead it was like him fetching me from the mrt then heading out strate for dinner. he was so sweaty n sticky from work that i wish i cud just throw him on the bed and attack. (ilovesteaminghotwetsweatystickysex =X)
oooh! and i ate KERANG BAKAR. yes. you heard me, KERANG.
the first time i tasted a nice kerang was the one at al-azhar that asri brought me n matin to. he sed its the nicest, i sed no. and then he fed me one and IT IS THE NICEST KERANG I'VE EVER TASTED.
he said he's gona make me eat paru next. NO WAY.
i hate paru from the bottom of my heart. like, i wudnt even touch the sambal goreng if there's paru (sambal goreng my fav dish btw).
who sia will eat lungs.

and then i forget to take picture of me eating the kerang. its phenomenal, never happened before, and i forgot to capture it for the record. =' (

and then after that i sent him home and hung around his place for awhile before he walk me to the busstop. i was suposed to be working in the afternoon cos anita swapped shift with me, but she swapped back at the last minute so i have to work morny back lor. i was just planning to stay out late... -.-

and then it was thursday. Lamb Of God *gasp* (more on that later).
chatted with bf on msn in the morny and he made me teared a lil.
i wish i cud cut n paste our mushy convo, but no lah.. funny stuffs can share, supersweetmeltmyheartcomeouttearone stuffs only for eyes hor.
sumone gotta learn that yo. yes you can share stuffs with your mates, but hell, bende sensitive simpan skettt!! tsk.. pastu gado, taktau mistake ke.. action taktau?? abeh publicly air your thoughts. control man.. stop hurting her. im that defensive..

asri then fetched me after work. we went to eat at IMM.
that's all we do rite? meet = eat.
EAT = MEET!
he scolded me for wearing a pink bra under white t-shirt. BUT I ALWAYS DO THAT.
i wear neon coloured bras under my white shirt to trigger men's horny imaginations. plus, i dun have big boobies so thats how i channel pple's attention to me boobies.
=D
and then he sed, "OK then later fetch my mum you button up." chey of cos rite.
AND THEN we sent noni to the airport, fetched nona from arab st, and fetched his mum
from novena. and then we disappeared for awhile before sending me home.

yes i did not go for Lamb Of God , the favouritest band of all becos:
1. boyfren say no need to go becos,
2. im still in pain n i shudnt mosh around cos i mite die n i cant even stand for half an hour and,
3. ramai sahabat saya, sedang ditimbus dgn masalah wang dan ramai juga yang tidak berkonfirmasi tentang kehadiran mereka untuk konsert Kambeng Sembelih (lambofgod) kerana,
4. kami tidak dapat 'off day' pada hari konsert Lamb of God.

but its okeh cos, i dreamt i was a crew for this concert and i watched the whole songlist being played and chris adler ignored me like im a banana peel. why i chose to say banana peel, i dunoe.

OH! and asri ckp lamb of god is a muslim.
and you noe, i shud stop talking about asri cos meluat aku bace, semuanya tentang si dia.

butttttttttttttttt, i cant.

I HAVE A POUCHY TUMMY THAT I WILL GET RID IN A WEEK.
i take picture hor later.

2010-04-13T11:11:00.011+08:00

"I wanna love you in all departments.." whispered asri, as i hug him down our escalator ride.
i tried soooo hard to contain my laughter but i burst out laughing cos i've never heard that kind of endearing line before. and then he gave me the face only a gf cud love la. mane nak carik..

he brought me around town after fetching me from work. we went to jurong point 1st to find this particular SOLD OUT BOOK. its like, sold out all over singapore agaknyer. harris takder, borders takder, kinokuniya tkder.. ebay also dun have i think.
dunoe where to find oredy, check2 kedai mama jual buku yg ader eh? have to try what..
but nvm, that book later also can find.

and then we ate at seoul garden taka. just the two of us. i've ALWAYS dreamt of doing that. just me and boyfren cooking stuffs at seoul garden. and it FINALLY came true. mcm like "huuuuh.."
i was in great pain, but life has to go on! -_-"
no i mean, pls lah go out with bf, try to not be in pain rite.. but i canot! walk abit, pain, walk again, pain. i felt like my life was being pulled out of me. i saw stars, all i cud do was to sit in the toilet n cry abit. i dun need painkillers if i got asri.
k bedek, i took two cos i was about to die after asri gave me a 'fierce' face intending to scold me for not taking my meds.
he canot scold me one, cos we'll end up laughing even tho its serious.
SERIOUS!
like,

me: JUICY COUTURE! i wanna go in. -points2-
asri: -looks away in search of sumthing-
me: abeh u tak layan i, babiii..
asri: -angry face- i nak tgk directory dulu kan?! nabey cibai.. -looks at directory- NOW WE CAN GO IN.
me: kaninabey..
asri n me: #&*&!!?? -insert more vulgars-
me: dun touch me! -pulls hand away-
asri: -pushes waty-
me: -masok kedai juicy couture and laugh-
and then we ended up hugging kissing and everyone in shop puked.
see, i dun even noe if that fite was for real.
haiz.

so anyway~ after food, we dropped by lala's workplace. walked underground in town all the way sia. and then after that headed to b.panjang to fetch matin then fazli then ayuni then lepak at b.gombak with double cheeseburger and cinnamon melts topped with lame old malay jokes n riddles.

and then he sent all of us home and then i slept even before he reached home bcos my battery died on me.

and today he texted me saying, "..abg naek pangkat in 2 weeks. :P"
=D !!!!

stop my playlist and listen to this song and pause it at 1:44..

2010-04-12T10:05:00.004+08:00

I AM PHYSICALLY IN PAIN.

itfuckinghurts.
i felt better when i still have them.
now, it fucking hurts when i breathe or walk or sit or lie down or wadever. i have been tolerating the pain cos i tot its gona go off soon, like how other pains died off after some time..

BUT ITS BEEN A WEEK.
i have not been taking my meds. and im scared something serious might happen now.

i think im gona die of infection.

2010-04-11T15:13:00.005+08:00

I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY UPDATED/EDITED MY BLOG ON MY OWN.
links, abouts, taggy, songs, pictures edits... WHOAA..

I SHOULD REWARD MYSELF.

so anyways, im on strike at home. i woke up this morny, with the urge to eat sotong itam. u noe the sotong dish with black gravy. yesh. so i woke my parents up and told them that i can follow them to the market if they want. in the end, mum made jenny breadsticks.
heavily sugared jenny breadsticks. and dad made jempot2 bawang.
so ok, i tot that was breakfast and that they will eventually go kedai and buy me some sotong to cook my beloved sotong itam dish.

and then dad wanted to go to the shop with bro. i told him to buy sotong.
he sed there's chicken in the fridge. i sed, "sotong.", and went into my room.
he came back from the shop, AND THERE IS NO SOTONG from the stuffs he bought.
i was about to die. so i screamed my lungs out. and mum screamed at him too cos i was screaming and dying.
and then i locked myself in the room with lala's lappy and ignored everyone in the house 'cept for the owner of this lappy. i was upset. VERY UPSET.
wadever my lil bro wanted, DAD WILL GET IT FOR HIM.
i wanted a simple SOTONG dish, n he just cudnt, CUDNT GET IT FOR ME.
so now, lil bro is crying cos i didnt let him use the laptop and dad is irritated by his whining and I AM NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECOS I DIDNT GET WHAT I WANTED.

c'mon.. i woke up, and suddenly ask for mum to cook me that dish. its not always you noe. i even volunteered to follow them to the market. its NOT USUAL. and they cant cook it for me.
i mean mum can but dad JUST CUDNT BUY IT FOR ME!!

SERIOUSLY IMAGINE THIS, i didnt get my wish, they didnt cook it for me, i got so upset, that i refuse to eat the chicken and food they've cooked (which everyone here noes, wont happen), cos i didnt get my sotong itam. and then i went out alone to get the sotong itam for myself from the coffeeshop nearby, and while crossing the road to the coffeshop, i got hit by a speeding lorry full of sotongs that is late for stock delivery to sheng shiong supermarket,
AND I DIED.

DAD WILL REGRET THE BALANCE OF HIS LIFE FOR NOT GETTING THE SOTONG FOR MUM TO COOK THE SIMPLE SOTONG ITAM DISH I HAD ASKED FOR!!!

T_T

but no, im hungry and im going to have my shower and eat the chicken they cooked rite after this..
and and and asri tried pujok-ing me with the mushiest stuff i can never think of.. he's so cute..
he's out skating and i dowan to disturb him, and i REALLY REALLY HOPE he wun fall and cut his upper lip again. i mean, cut other things can what, why must land on lips one..?
i canot kiss him for a week siak..

food.
k bye.

2010-04-09T11:06:00.006+08:00

THIS THING HERE, HAUNTED ME IN MY DREAM LAST NIGHT.

thanx to the boyfren lah for posting it up on fb last tuesday. i dunnoe where he got it and why he posted it up. he sed it was creepy while i thought it was cute, until last night. in the dream, i noe it's fake but it was huge and it has a robotic walk and was chasing me slowly and i tried running fast but i cant. i wasnt scared or anything just irritated cos i cant run! i hate that kinda dream man, like pple chase you and you gave your all to run as fast as you can but still cudnt do it, and you ended up waking up very tired.

but like fucking cheebye stop chasing me man.

anyway, im very bored at work rite now. logging in to msn only to chat with boyfren. he's out and im alllll aloooneee...
but he's coming over to meet me for my 2hr lunch anyways so im ok.
and im cracking my head for LOG and bf's bday =O

SO MUCH TO DO SO LITTLE TIME~
cbcbcbcbcb.

k bye.

2010-04-08T17:23:00.007+08:00

oh hai.
i found out, that its not me,
its mixpod.

-.-

so anyways,

OH LUPPI, PLEASE BE THE BOYFREN OF MY DAUGTHER WHEN I HAVE ONE. I CHOPE YOU..

im not feeling it yet.. i shud be crying at the lost.. but im not. it was depressing before it happen but after im done, im like, neutral.
i think im still sedated. or maybe, the bf is too great for me to feel depressed. tsk. this is wrong, im too happy.

SAD NOTE ASIDE.
i secretly love his scar btw, it looks so, "alalalaaaa meh kish2 meh.." even mum n grandma went closer to "alalalala" kan dier... tsk2...

i swear, my boyfriend was a cat in his previous life.

2010-04-08T00:46:00.000+08:00

i fail badly at puttingsongsonmyblog.

i wish you cud help me. T_T

2010-04-06T18:00:00.009+08:00

i am supposed to blog lah rite~!!
lets see, where did i stop..

ouh, the boring friday. i actually went out with asri in the afternoon to get my dose of thaksin beef noodles with nazra n fira.
and then accompanied him to LSP, TO GET HIMSELF A NEW BOARD.
we got lost as usual. found the place eventually n he got his new board. tsk2.
its with this peacock design. i love peacocks. n he asked me why, so i told him my story. will tell you guys one day..

and you know. i was telling fira that i don't like skaterbois cos i think they're smelly with no life, but i was wrong cos asri is not smelly and he definitely got more life than this. and then fira was like, "YEAH, and you got hooked with a skaterboi haha." NYEH. ididntevennoeheskatesyo. smellyguy.

and then after getting his new board and fixing them, the guys brought us girls to their spot. and they skate. while i eat, like one fat girl. he's working in the evening, and i have to meet lynn at nite, so we made a move right at sunset and i took cab strate to town.

met lynn n tutz!!
blanja-ed them SPIZE cos tutz was driving and makcik lynn nak mkn SPIZE and i gots extra monehh so ape lagik, blanja lor. our next plan was to head for ~~karaoke~~, ~~movies~~, ~~KARA-~~, MOOOOOVIESS!!
so tutz n me, we wanted to watch REC2 but lynn ni sebenarnye takot nan cite2 gini.
but we dun care about her and proceeded buying the tix. =P
and then the three of us deliciously cuddled up with each other and screamed thruout the fucking movie like japanese pornstars..
i love it, eventho its predictable. cos i watched the 1st one n they continued REC2 exactly where they ended it. so now, i can sleep better. =D

and then after mooovies, si makbuyong ni da penat tkbleh angs lagik. tutz n lynn wanted to club sooooo they sent me home, rite at my doorstep. sygnyer..

the family's still not home yet so i had asri, who was working that night to accompany me on the phone. the house is like, BOOOO.

AND THEN IT WAS SATURDAY. my longestttt daaaay.
i had to drag myself to the doctor's in the morny alone becos the two pple that was suppose to accompany me CANOT WAKE UP. T_T
i had bad flu n i was having the worse headache.
and i also got to see how he/she was having the time of his/her life moving around in there.
tsktsk. too cute..

met asri after and we checked ourself in to Ibis Hotel to leave our stuffs there before heading to ECP, becos i dowanna go home that day since my family are not back yet.
oh, i organized a reunion bbq party at ECP for my primary sch mates. THEY'RE ALL SO BIG NOW. k lah. im not the smallest anymore.

a few didnt turn up but to those who did, i really2 appreciate it.
and i had a great time cycling around with the boyfren, i got my carls jr chocolate shake. saw inaaa with her bf too. n she gots short hairrr too. i invited ziela along and was so sad cos it was raining. that girl poor thing la..

so anyways. asri and i left there at ard 10pm, sent ziela off to bedok interchange..
and got back to our room AND CRASHED. berlekit, bau ayam bbq, haaaaaa.
we packed some leftover foods, but didnt eat those cos we got too full with each other.
WAHLAO GOT SO CORNY ONE AH.

AND THEN IT WAS SUNDAY,
time for my bloggers meetup. woke up to his masyam face, baby-talk with him like i did to babies. checkout at 12nn, had late breakfast at LJS.

i really dunnoe why he will look down n step abg2 everytime i snap our picture.

supposed to meet the girls at 1pm but all of them reached bugis at 2pm. -.-
ALAH BIASELAH KITEKAN GIRLS.

and then it was Tong Seng, and sheesha~
luppi anaknye nana punyer lah CUTE!! he automatically melekat with me one..
confirm girl la ni. n i no need baits k FAEZAH. u got read this anot cha?
i got pictures. wait i update again later.

and then i got tired n went home with syimah. newly found fren~
i shud do this more often la. asri shud skate n i shud go meet a group of girlfrens.
=P

oh, and asri fell while skating n he got a hitler's moustache inspired scar.
i've yet to see him with it in real life. all i got were mms pictures.

and then and then and then!

i saw these gorgeous pair at Christian Louboutins' web lah like, in early feb?
i showed asri and he calculated for me the SGD price and it cost like 1.6k.
so, i thought to myself, i will never have it.. it will never be mine.. i will never wear those shoes ever..
SEKALI!!!

it cost 75BUX AJE!?!?!? APE LAGI, BELI LAH. i saw the shoes even before i entered the shop, so when i got in, i strate away ask for my size, try it on, and pay. wahaha. omg the love i felt was like, GOSSHHH. if only i can love money as much as i love shoes, i might have like, 25k in my bank now.

so anyways, i slept soooo soundly after that.
AND THEN IT WAS MONDAY.
AND IM NOT WORKING. YEH.

soooo. rang (i just spelt 'rang-ed' omg)ziela up. woke lala up.
got ready and met her at civic for me to reset my singpass cos i need my CPF statement~ mcm dah tua gitu.
and then off to beach road to meet shaf n for my tulangs n chickens.

rite after this picture, i vomitted out my heart's content.
wasteeedddd. oh lala puke too. cos we were mabok from the taxi la.
i taught her how to muntah. "see the toilet bowl, n gag."
she did just that and BLUERGH.

haha.

and then after that, headed to Textile Building to sign n renew my contract.
i gots weekly pay now btw. so im gona be rich EVERY WEEK.
500...500...500...500... T_T
babi. how to save. but i shud be happy la kan. i will never be broke.

so went to orchard, lala went to work, while i and ziela n shaf walk around town.
i spent 62bux rite away.
-.-

and then got home. ate mum's cooking...
and slept rite after.

and then it was TUESDAY~
woke up to asri's call, n baby cries. it was ANIQ lah, that tuesday baby.
he's soooo, CUTE. i wud love to throw him off the wall to see if he bounces back. you see, i canot have a child of my own la cos i think i mite wanna try n do that to my child. and you shud see how my parents bully babies. they're like, not humans lah!

so anyways, i gtg.
i need to fart. and im not working again tomorooo tho..
wehh.. im gona hate my tomoro.

k bye.

2010-04-02T10:54:00.003+08:00

im so bored.
mum n dad n siblings left for KL last night.
they always go at the wrong timing lah. they asked asri along but that boy is working.
so now im at home, doing nothing cos asri's back from his night shift and sleeping..
i think im gona sleep again later.
zzz.

omg i dunoe wad to blog abt..
ok, two nites ago, asri treated us to canadian pizza.
he fetched me n mum from work, sent mum home and headed to champions way (actually wdls drive 17 lah) with matin n fazli for picnic.
eh malas lah nak type.

im gona pluck my eyebrows n sleep right after. bye.

2010-03-31T15:51:00.002+08:00

We, the Kentalans of Singapore,
Pledge ourself as one united Kentals:

[15:07] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
ohai syg

[15:07] matilda curse:
hi baby

[15:07] matilda curse:
im not pretty!

[15:07] matilda curse:
and no

[15:07] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
no baby you..

[15:07] matilda curse:
im not trying to make you say nice things to me

[15:08] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
no

[15:08] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
if u wanna know

[15:08] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
i don't wanna sound shallow

[15:08] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
but one of the reasons why i fell for u

[15:08] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
is because you're very attractive

[15:08] matilda curse:
shallow

[15:08] matilda curse:
:P

[15:09] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
which is why i don't say anything to do when we first met

[15:09] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
and then it was hook line and sinker

[15:09] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
when u drink my drink

[15:09] matilda curse:
HAHA

[15:09] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
:P

[15:09] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
so i must have u

[15:09] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
and i'm happy i do

[15:09] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
but for my happiness to come true

[15:09] matilda curse:
hahaha

[15:09] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
i must make u happy too

[15:09] matilda curse:
baby!

[15:09] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
yes dear?

[15:09] matilda curse:
THIS IS SO GOING TO MY BLOG

[15:10] matilda curse:
hahaaahaaaaa

[15:10] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
tsk

[15:10] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
:$

[15:11] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
unintentionally

[15:11] рфяпфнзгт ˀ アスリ ˁ - Ѿ got a big butt and i cannot lie:
it rhymed

tsk tsk..
<3

2010-03-31T09:20:00.004+08:00

actually i forgot to blog about what happened to lala's slippers yesterday.

wakakaka. how i noe. ajal dier da sampai nyawa da nak terputus.. i was rushing to my office cos i was late for 45mins, and right before reaching my cabin, it snapped. and the the drum filling guys were all whistling and laughing at me. macam sial pagi2 buta kene suay.

so i went to lunch with my colleague's obiang slippers and bought new ones. cheap new rushingsoasalbolehgrab slippers. same height, almost same look, confirm lala wun prasan one.

who am i kidding.
she asked me for a skechers slippers oredy. and told asri to slap me.
and asri agreed to slap me. -_-
they now work together. why not you ask asri to buy for you. he got$ lot$a moolah$.

anyways, im like totally dying now. im too tired to work already. went home late last nite cos its asri 1st day off, means hor, he will collect everyone then ajak lepak. he wont care one if you all work anot the next morny, all he noe is that he's not working.. -.-
so last night, we lepak with ayuni, fazli, and matin. it was my 1st time meeting her. had a great time, but wud have been better if im not as tired.

and then asri send all of us home. i miss him so much. we're like kentalan. i hate doing full shift. i need more alone time with him. i want my morning shift!!
working full shift means i only have 2-3hrs of meetups with bubu, which is really not enough to cover the 2-3days of not seeing each other's busyukmasyam face.

talking bout meetups. 4TH APRIL, NANACHICA ORGANISED A BLOGGERS MEETUP~
weee. the other time i cant make it cos im working so, im totally gonna make myself free this time round. wawa is gona be there too. omg omg omg.

and then the day before that, on 3rd april, im gona have my primary school reunion partaay THAT I, nurwaty bte yazid, organized. mcm ape, called all AIPS 2000 grads, join this group, join that group, add this person, add that person, beg them to come. finally its happening. took me n siti hawa almost two months to actually convince everyone to agree on a date. she handle the pple, i handle the party.
i booked the pit, i ordered the food, i setup the event page, and yet some pple, SOOOMMEEE pple, still cant lift their bloody eyelids up to even look into this event.
now i understand how my frens feel when i dun attend the events they painstakingly organize..

omg. i am so gona go to the doctor again this friday. i cant take it. my whole body is aching, i have the most horrible headache n backache one can ever get in her lifetime, i cant even get out of bed to go to work..
THANK GOD FRIDAY IS A HOLIDAY YO! if not, cant even go to the doctor..

i want my weekend now please please pleasseee. i need asri's armpit.

2010-03-30T10:18:00.006+08:00

i dreamt, i went shopping for shoes with asri, nazra and dahiyaht. these guys, can say la semua hantu kasot. just lookit the shoes they wear.
HOT! AKU TGK JANTAN TGK KAKI DULU BTW.
SO. in the dream, the place we went to is like, HEAVEN. its like a huge warehouse, with ceiling to floor shelves of shoes from all the brands i ever knew. i even saw my long lost macbeth (girl london or sumfink), but i wasnt the very least interested.
IF IT WAS IN REAL LIFE, I WUD HAVE BOUGHT IT RIGHT AWAY.
I KNOW.

i've only met dahiyaht like, once? and we only talked briefly in fb. but there he was, choosing out the best shoes for me to buy. i only remember that the shoes looked like the ones i saw at tilly's..

SO ANYWAYS. back to reality.

got home with mum last night, met dad otw. he's so possesive.
and then dad started fixing stuff ard the house.
like the broken shower pipe, and MY SPOILT FAN THAT LALA N LYDIA BROKE. dad finally made himself useful at home. but u noe, let's not put hopes in men. blink, n he's back to his useless self.
and and and the monchichi is sleeping over at my house for a few days. he kept playing with my wall curtains, u noe, the curtains i use to cover my chalky red walls? yeah, he stood behind it while i wasnt watching and stayed still until i saw him, and then proceed to go "WAAAH!" he's so grown up now!
and then okto started showing this twin babies 'Emergency in the womb' documentary and i watched it with mum and lydia. we squealed at how the doctor inserted a camera to the womb to show the mum how her unborn babies looks like. so much different from the ultrasound scans.
and then my maternal instincts kicked in.

how cute can babies get?
i want two of my own. can i just have babies without the marriage part? why cant muslims do that? sometimes when you get married legally in every law, the husband is still non-existence right after having childrens, so why need them?? why the need to get married then in the become a divorcee!!? that is such a screwed up life you noe? janda. duda. sape suruh kawen? and then, after that, u get married to sumone new, and pple know you fucked more than one person in your lifetime. i mean yeah lah you did fuck more before that but think of it like you only get fucked after marriage, tsk! you know what i mean??

i can afford everything on my own if i want to. please mum n dad??!
pls boyfriend.. pleeeeasee GOD?!
T_T

forget it.. im just old. i've been ready all along but, not everyone have the same pace as me. and no, i never talked abt marriage with asri even if he starts, becos im just afraid of, promises? dude, i left md nur right after he chose our wedding date only after two weeks of dating! he's not ready and he's saying all that! he's like totally a malay man. =O (and he also sed that he had a child with his ex b4 who has now gone missing, THAT i ultimately cannot carry.)

i have the greatest man in my life right now, everything i imagine a man would do he does it, everything i imagine a man would say he says it, and im still not basking in it becos ITS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. oh yah, thats wad i told his sister btw, that he is 'too good to be true'. she was so proud of him you know.
i noe asri is gona read this.
bee, jangan nak mengembangkan hidong kau yg da kembang tuh. I LOVE YOU.

why am i emoing?
BECAUSE I'M FEELING THEM.
THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. THEY'RE THERE WHEN I SLEEP, THEY'RE THERE WHEN I WAKE UP.
THEY'RE THERE WHEN I AM ALL ALONE, STALKING ME TO MY GRAVE.
AND THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY THERE WHEN I SEE ASRI'S FACE.
what are they? go figure yaw.

oh. and btw, dad now sleeps with the quran verses on play mode every night. and last night mum told me she heard SUMONE asking for help. "tolooong... tolonngg.." can be heard even after opening her eyes. THE FUCK!!?
get out of my house, bitch. but i kinda miss you.

2010-03-29T16:16:00.010+08:00

sometimes, you need to know.
that when the adults can't handle it MATURELY, the kids take over.
but when the kids don't agree on taking over and handling it MATURELY,
then nothing, can ever happen.

so much for tradition, did you thought about tradition when u decide to create mishaps?
nooooo.

i wait.
you wait.
we wait.

i scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM~!

and you, yes you there,
zip those thick luscious lips and shut up.
i do miss kissing n licking n biting those lips, you know.
but izokeh, i got new ones, and i still got what you want.

2010-03-29T09:50:00.008+08:00

my weekend was a productive one~
=D

i paid lydia to take off my extentions on fri nite cos it was irritating the fuck out of me. asri took off sum of it but he had to go home so lydia did it. BUAT KAT KEDAI FREE HOKAY. but nvm. it was itchy AND SMELLY. ugh.

i was called to become a photography model for Cosmoprof by Amira, the 1st runner up for Miss Earth Singapore, on saturday afternoon. she's my sec schmate. we werent even close lah, but thanks to facebook.
and i was on MC on saturday cos i had to run to the doc's in the morny.. aku ni..haiz.
then after that rushed home, changed and met asri who wasnt supposed to meet me that day, BUT WE MISS EACH OTHER SO MUCH. so he sent me to Cosmoprof. then amira texted me saying that i mite have an hr extra time cos my slot was at 12noon but the waiting time is horrendous and she told me to come at 1pm. so asri brought me out for lunch~
REX NASI AYAM AH ABEH TAKTAU PER.

sayang dier. <3

asri bought me that cap. sukeee~

met ziela rite after im done with them and headed for wilkie.
after washing my face and redoing my make up, we hangout at starbucks where Shaf n Feqa works. Shaf made me sumthing out of the menu cos i was feeling sick n wanted sumthing sour. "SOUR MORE THAN SWEET!", i told him. and taaadaaaa, the most sour more than sweet drink came. sedappp you. and thennn, his manager ask we all out for dinner. he bought me and ziela a medium bowl of tom yam bee hoon, and i ate more portion than ziela cos we're always lidat and the manager like canot believe.
and then we talked about sex.
-_- that kinda face always think about sex one.

AND THEN. ''no and then!''
shaf went back to work while i and ziela headed to Plaza Singapura to look for Ain's sister Atika, bday present. we went to marks n spencer to look for her stuff, in the end we spent a few bux for ourself. im in love with their turkish delight chocolate bar, perfect! we then cab to pasir ris costa sands aloha. passed by the red house.
TERINGAT HEH ZAMAN KEBODOHAN DULU AMEK LAUGHING GAS PANJAT MASOK GATE. then the ex saw pontianak n i saw pocong and we can still laugh at them until the gas died off and we realised it was ghost and made a run for our lives.
wad a -_-.. we're so stupid. but was fun while it lasted though.

so anyways, i ate alot of seafood that day. ain bbqed prawns for me, slurp~
and then later into the party, i started throwing tantrum lah like how pms bitch wud throw. then i got back alone by cab. it was 2am. got home and THROW TANTRUM AGAIN LAH COS MY FAN GOT SPOILT! !@)*&%$#
complain at asri, then sleep like pig.

tantrum start liao lor!!

THEN IT WAS SUNDAY.
woke up at 11+am and strate away wanted a mcnonald's breakfast. so i ordered lor. mcgriddles summore. then the delivery guy was a cute chinese guy so i told him to keep the change. =D
mentel.

and then after breakfast, i continued sleeping BEFORE BEING RUDELY AWAKEN BY THE MADER WHO WANTED TO CUT HAIR.
i shouted n growled. and then suddenly the house was empty. so i slept for awhile more and woke up got ready and search for them in old woodlands. im fat you noe. i feel sorry for calling the girls i hated last time fat, COS I CANT HELP EATING AND SLEEPING NOW. i feel you babe. huehue.

so anyway, found them at Shop In shopping for cheap stuff. dad bought me a kickers tee. and we ate and then headed for ION to meet ziela cos i left some of my stuff when i left the chalet. SPENT ALOT OF MONEEHHH at bershka n sephora. and then lala n i got our haircut at jeanyip in ION too.
we got the same hairstyle lah but lala one abit confused cos she dowan to cut half of her hair.
so she got a concave bob half long hair. errr.
but nonetheless it's nice~

and then i got home, WEBCAM WITH ASRI to show him my new hair n to hear compliments =P
and then sleep like pig. supposed to wake him up but he woke me up instead. what a gf.
so here i am now... at work. with tummyache cos i made warm milo n merlion-ed the whole cup too. so stupid.

ok bye.

2010-03-25T11:04:00.005+08:00

asri: Bee! i just realised why they made Cow n Chicken!
me: why why why??
asri: Cus u know, u can never have chicken and beef in 1 meal. Hyuk3!
me: What. -.- You noe, I think this is why I love you.

that's just about how lame he can get.
pls God, do not let his lameness be passed down to our children.

2010-03-24T15:03:00.004+08:00

i've decided to display my archives. (nanti arh. not now. gua tgh busy)

so that everyone will REALLY, REALLY REALLY, REALLY REALLY REALLY, know why..

just lie properly the next time.

like how im lying right now to tell you all i'm pregnant with asri's twins.
TUH-TWEEHNNS.

*k lahh k lah.. i take back my words.
if you have to lie to make yourself feel better then why not.
as long as you're happy, im good.
=)

2010-03-24T08:16:00.004+08:00

met matin last night after going to the doctor's with min.
doctor told me i have DOUBLE problem. and i cried.
cos basically, im going to die lah.

so today i told asri that he must love me 3 times.
and then he said, "I love u more than 3 times bee."
tsk, i love him so much.

so anyway, matin lost weight, and he seem to be better now.
he laughed, joked, and made cheesy lines. he's ALMOST back to his normal self.
eventho i just knew him for like couple of months ago, but i can see lah.
and then the touching part is when we were all making a move, matin gave his 'thank you' speech. he went sumthing like, "..and waty. eventho you just got to know me, you were there.. i can see.. in fb and stuff.."
aaww..

and today, i found out that my colleague is taking 2 weeks leave.
MEANS IM GONA DIE FASTER THAN IM SUPPOSED TO.
SERIOUSLY. she never told me she's on leave starting today.
im supposed to go to the doctor again later, now canot oredy.
i really hope in this two weeks, im gona collapse at work.
so they'll noe how sick i am.
T~T

2010-03-23T11:00:00.000+08:00

HIIIII!!!!

=D

i took two days leave from thurs so i had a great long weekend! the best thing was, asri's on leave too!! im soooo happy mcm came back from honeymoon gitu. ^_^

heh, nolah, i had the best monthsary (i dowanna sound typical, but wth) ever.
he brought me around town, treated me for lunch at pizzahut and was the best person in the whole wide world!

and then it was Placebo for dinner! met nazra n hadi, accompanied them for their late lunch at burger king and then we hanged around fort canning waiting for the crowd to grow n for nona n bf to arrive. and no, quz didnt get to be with me becos he sed sumone wanted him to go with him. -_- its unfair cos quz asked me to go with him 1st. but its okeh, he was very nice to me and he was so worried that we cudnt get in cos u noe, our tix was A CONTRABAND. nyeheh. then i saw a couple of old frens, misssed them alotttt, so we exchanged numbers. aaannd then the gig started. I WAS STARSTRUCK GODDAMIT. like what happened 2yrs ago with A7X.

i went =O''''' *drooooooooool*

steve forrest was sooooo sexayyy. he was half naked behind the drumset and he made me wanna be half naked with him too. every time he move his body to the beat, his long blonde wispy fringe made me wanna grab it and pull it to my- okeh stop..

..so back to the gig. i love it when asri hugged n kissed me from behind throughout the performance, mcm "awww.." and then he kept whispering "happy two months baby.." double "aawww..." i dunoe how to leave this guy already. not that i've plans to leave him, i mean, u noe what i mean.
and so after the gig ended, we hanged around the stage to, u noe, see if we can get anything from the crew but a girl took the songlist and was jumpy n hyper n screamy, so we walked off.
and then.. nazra found A BRAND NEW CAR!

-.- a car key that is. nona made him return them to the guards, which, we noe, won't help that much, but wth.

after that, we headed to KTM for supper. drunk hadi made asri lost his way. n this human gps is not working. i havent configured myself to him yet so, its still difficult. tunggu lah lame sket. he sent me home but nazra drove the car, and my day ended right after he kissed me goodbye..

AND THEN IT WAS FRIDAY. i never had the most awesome tgif feeling before.
woke up early cos asri wanted me to meet him early. but in the end we got out of my house in the afternoon. headed to his house to wait for him to change. the plan for the day was to send me to the doctor for checkup n consultation, tapi tuh doctor mintak kene tempeleng taktau nak angkat telepon. so we walked around tampines shopping mall. min was supposed to accompany me cos i have to follow her to her make up class to become her model for the night.
so we met at haji lane right outside her sister's shop, and asri made his way to meet nona.

in min's class,
MY FACE WAS TOUCHED AND SPONGED AND GLUED AND PAINTED BY FATIMAH MOHSIN.
she wanted to do my face after doing laika's face. nyeahaha. sukak deh gue.
and then min had to do the other half of my face. she did ok, it looks the same.

and then asri fetched me home, while he settled some stuff. met me for awhile after dat and kissed me goodnight. i love this guy. <3

AND THEN IT WAS THE REAL SATURDAY, becos it felt like saturday on thrus n fri.
woke up to a dark glooooomy wet rainy weather. contemplated wit lala whether or not to go out.
we did eventually, late in the afternoon, with ridz.

headed for vivo and lala blanja-ed us THAKSIN BEEF NOODLES. did sum walking and shopping around.

and then mum called us and told us to head to wdls at bik lin's house cos it was vreda's bday, AND THEN MONCHICHI WAS THERE. so ape lagi, ATTACK!
i played around with tatik's rollerblades for awhile cos it was ages since the last time i wore those wheels. my butt felt so heavy after that.

then the mader decided to go bowling at yishun OCC. she also booked a room for the night. we bowled the whole night into the wee hours of morny and then crashed after eating a heavy meal.

woke up and IT WAS SUNDAY!!! whoaaaa. washed up, got ready, checked out, ate HEAVY brunch at northpoint, and headed home. at home, i fell asleep at the ugly lounge chair while waiting for asri to pick me up to go see him skate. went to yishun again to pickup his frens and then headed to his spot in jurong where nazra n hadi were waiting. hypocrite lah. say he dun like to see pple skate then bring gf, but he brought me along for skate. -_-" but nvm, i was ok cos he brought his laptop n i brought my mobile broadband.
so i fb-ed all the way UNTIL THE CLOUDS DECIDED TO POUR ALOT OF WATER TO THE GROUNDS OF JURONG. peh lebat. the guys stopped skating for awhile, and when the rain didnt stop after a few mins, we all ran to the hall where we shared with some indian guys practicing their dance.

this is the bubu doing MY. FAVOURITE. TRICK.

and then asri n i had to leave cos he had to fetch noni from the airport. she just got back from her exciting trip lah. before she went, she kept talking abt it to me, tsk2.. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT! grrr. but its okeh. i WILL do it. eventually. so asri went home, got his mum n nona, and we all headed to the airport. noni's flight got delayed so we got abit caught up. and then and then, we got popeyes chicken for the hungry boys back at jurong, and we ate at that hall too. i was so hungry. and then after that asri sent nazra n me home. i love his goodnight kisses.

and then i slept AND THEN IT WAS MONDAY. brrrr.
woke up, went to work. finish work, asri fetched me and we went public to simlimsquare.
he was a rich guy for the day. then we got horny. and then.. =X
then he sent me home. i got sick in the train, n then vomitted at marsiling mrt.

slept and its tuesday today. got myself an appointment with the doctor in the evening.
i feel so sick, i might have cancer. (ish, touchwood.)
but serious. i dont feel healthy.
and i hate it. i hate to have headaches and not be able to talk to asri when we're out. i hate feeling sick in the tummy. i hate having blurred vision.
i must get healthy.

..k da boring bye.

2010-03-17T09:46:00.002+08:00

semalam, mak saye ckp, dier stress.
lepas tuh dier pegi shopping beli baju baby.
CAN YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN THAT IN FULL DETAILS FOR ME??!
why the hell wud someone shop for baby clothes when u have no baby at all at home?
best of all, she bought baby girl's clothes. BABY GIRL?!!
HOII!!

SO ANYWAYS, yeah im okay today.
how i noe yesterday. so moody. no menses still want to moody. nak kat mati kot.
kesian asri. i really2 canot be angry at him one lor.
dier punyer pujok like, "huuuuhh....".
we dunoe how to gado with each other one.
just this morny he cracked me up, we went sumthing like:

bubu: Haaaar! pompan sundal!
me: pala butooo. jantan sial!
*giggle2*
both: bee..

and then now he's asleep. I HATE HIS NIGHT SHIFT! but its okeh.
will have him for breakfast, lunch and dinner tomoro..
eh besok Placebo!
AND BESOK IS ALSO OUR 2MTHS ANNIVERSARY!
and, im not the type who celebrates monthsary cos mcm like pointless gitu, but but but with him like, "huuuuuhh...".

GELI KAN? PADAN MUKE KAO.

mum booked chalet for 3d2n today, cant go, im working. tktau nak book on weekends nyer org. and then im planning for tristan park outing with asri's ite frens n my ite frens, cos we need a dozen to be able to ride the bumboat. this will happen on April's month-end.

okeh. im sleepy cos i ate chocolates and nasi lemak. bad combo for staying up. bye. need to sleep.

2010-03-16T19:19:00.002+08:00

Dear Asri,

please stop talking that way.
i just teared infront of my office comp.
everything is difficult, letting go is fucking difficult.
but you are the sweetest human being i've ever met cos,
i called you 'cruel, heartless' and whatsnot, i scolded you for no apparent reason,
i kept talking about it and show you stuffs about it cos i feel it and its hurting me, little did i noe it hurts you more to hear and see me that way,
and you can still do/say the sweetest things to me.

you're like, an angel.

please, stop talking that way. im sorry. i never knew what a guy would feel like in this situation.
cos i've never been in this situation. sometimes i feel like leaving you and handling this all by myself. BUT of cos not. no way am i ever gona do that.
so. stop. i love you.

love,
waty.

2010-03-16T11:08:00.002+08:00

met matin last night btw. he was, lost. he cant remember stuffs.
he still have headaches. he gets confused over things.
he reminded me of quz. how my tears flowed when i saw him in that serious condition with tubes here and there in a coma for 4 days. i never thought he wud wake up and remember us.
well he did, but he forgot abt what happened, how it happened, and a few little details in his life.
it took him couple of months to be himself again.

TALKING ABOUT QUZ.
placebo is in 2 days time!!
yearghhh~

gona go with him and melekat bawah ketiak dier while asri can melekat bawah ketiak his frens.
quz sed he'll meet me and will be going with me.
=D suke nyer.

so anyways, asri sold off his bike last night (today officially) to this bodybuildingtypeofsexybutt chinese man. 'stead of $7.5k, price turned to $3.5k.
kwang3..

but he's happy with it.
and.
CAN I PLEASE NOT FEEL SICK?
CAN I PLEASE NOT DO FULL SHIFT?
CAN I PLEASE HAVE A BREAK?!

2010-03-16T01:05:00.004+08:00

i just need to blog this out.
meant for a guy who i had 'fun' with for a night.
i dun mean to sound cheap or what but i bet alot of girls have done this before.
have you heard of, 'the one that got away'?
yeah, it's something that happened only for a night.
one night stand.

you do it when you don't think. you do it when it's wrong. you do it cos you just hafta do it cos the environment is just right. and then after doing it, you dont feel like ever doing it with him/her anymore. the bad thing is, this feeling, of not doing it ever again, usually engulfs ONE person. its either you, or him. for my case, its me. i dun like him. i used to, but uhh. no.

so.
this particular guy. infact i've actually met two of his kind (emo2 after i, in asri's word, 'ghost' them), but he seem to be more, you noe, hurt sangaaaat lah gitu. i dun understand why they have to be hurt that way. c'mon, you're the guy. you got what guys want for free. i dun like you. neither do i like you in bed.

YANG KAU NAK EMO2 BLG KAWAN POMPAN APEHAL.
DAH DAPAT PE, BLAH AH.
SEDIH2 LAH PLAK.

kao.
i feel like i shud grow a dick and stuff it in your mouth where it belong.

2010-03-15T16:25:00.005+08:00

i wish i can:

but i cant.

2010-03-15T10:47:00.007+08:00

hypocrites loves me. and i love my boyfren. and my boyfren loves to play around with me.
we got this silly idea of acting breakup, and see how many pple will comment on it.
he wanted to noe how many guys will comment, and i wanted to see if any girl will ask him why. BUT HIS WAS EMPTY, while i got a few. =D

and our intention was purely of the mentioned only. little did we noe there's more to it. this makes me even more happier cos i've succeeded in proving the world their attitude! but anyways, i will not touch on that anymore cos it doesnt affect me in anyway. my bf stil loves me the same (even more) and *masok datin mode* i macam, you know, tak setaraf uhhh dengan standard mereka *geleng2 datin*.

and then asri is the ultimate menambah2kan attitude, he posted sumthing on my wall and said,
"Bee i'm sorry I accidentally drank all your green tea but I can't help it I was thirsty! Lets not fight again. :)"
DIER CUTE NAK MAMPOS KAN??!

da. TANAK BUAT GITU LAGI. having 4 guys asking you out straight away is scary.
da giler eh? pompan baru je break nan bf, kau tros ajak kluar.

and anywaysss,
im sooo happy that my colleague won the competition! i voted, screamed n shouted like mad seh.
what makes me more happier is that the boyfren, sanggop nak ikot you! ikot support pekik2 lagik. i didnt even bought him the tix cos i noe he wont go to such stuff. then i found out lala is not tagging along cos she's working, so i asked him and he said ok! mcm like WHOA. we have to wear red btw. semangar!

mum made him drive the elephant car. so he drove us around in that jerking trajet machiam like professional. =P
and then dad made him park the car with full trust. I LOVE.
i like that mum n dad did not have to be forced to like him. his 10cent face (and attitude) melt pple's heart rite away.
tak payah nak bukak doa2 tak tentu pasal mintak kesian.

and i kept peeing. i cant seem to hold in my pee for more than 3 hrs. last time satu hari tk kencing pon tk pasal. skg, bladder da shrink. T_T
and i feel constipated, and i can sleep for more than 12hrs, and my back aches, and i will get stupid headaches with nausea if i stay up til late no matter how much i've slept. and my weight gain is fucking obvious until pple can say,
"eh. you look like 1 mth pregnant leh, see ur tummy.."
*growls n barks like a bitch*

and no i don't like it.
i dont like your attitude either.
nak tau tnyer, tkmo assume.

2010-03-13T23:21:00.002+08:00

HE'S SICK!
the only time we chatted was on fb msgs, n laggy chats and he wants to go all emo on it? i didnt think it was me in the 1st place but when he sed im one of them (means he got more rite?), then i thought like, "ouh okeh, nice way of expressing it.." AND THEN DIER MELERET LAH SIAK!! KEPALE HOTAK KAO.
ORG GILER!!

i wished i'd said more about what comment buttons n like buttons are for but i was too disgusted by his behaviour! he only got like 60 frens on his list n when we chatted he doesnt seem like he ever talked to alot of girls. HE IS SO MEREPEK. omg. and and and, he commented like thrice before deleting and reposting his final one. AND BEST OF ALL!! HE IS A FREN OF THE EX.
AND THEN HE SAYS IM HEARTLESS.

look boy,
if u ever visit my blog, here's a song for u to cry on:

2010-03-12T11:05:00.004+08:00

i want to put this weird relationship i have with asri in words, but i cant.
i like doing lame merepek weird stuffs, i like to give lame weird jokes, and look at things weirdly, NO ONE EVER GOT IT BUT HIM (ok lah maybe ziela, after a few explainations =P).
i am ashamed of doing it but after looking at asri laughing it off, i dont care at all!
best of all, he does those weird things too.
macamane nak explain ni weird things eh? its not sexual or disgusting, its just funny.

so anyways, i forgot to blog abt the gathering session i had with the ITE clans, it was a couple of nights ago. it started when i found out man was on leave for two days and i was missing them badly, that i decided calling2 semorang for a meetup. the best part was that, ALL OF THEM CAME DOWN TO WOODLANDS CIVIC CENTRE! from all over singapore!
gerek per kerane kerinduan. we had a blast. didnt realy catch up but we just laugh our heads off at our stupid jokes. and man save his mcwings chicken skin fer me..

see how happy we are when we're with each other~

yes i've put on ALOT of weight in a month. i hate looking at my tummy n arms n butt n thighs n urgh!! will shed those off soon after settling some stuffs. skarang gua tgh menyumbat mode! tsk2. fat-ass. happy sgt kan.

asri is gona bring me to the IT fair this sunday. its my first time gg with sumone else. =P
u guys shud bear with me okeh, I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. alot of things will be "my first time with sumone else".

this guy here, broke up with me for awhile yesterday cus he sed he 'gotta travel around the world.' and that he have to leave me 'to meet a girl'. i was an understanding gf who cant fulfill his needs, so i left him. and then he started begging for me back after realising he needs me, but i turned him down cus i dun wanna go back to an ex. so he fetched me after work, and called me, "bee, i pat luar tgh maen dgn pompan laen."

i went out with anger to find him riding that fitness corner peh machine. and then we patched up.

the plan was to visit matin lah kan tapi budak tuh dah tido! last2 lepak nan fazli n tasha pat bwh blk si matin tuh. hmm.. til late. and i got my goreng pisang~ kempunan tak senonoh sejok2 pon aku santap jugak.

got home and crashed right away.
so today im going home for lunch~!!
woohoo. asri's working and im gona have a boring friday.

k bye.

"I think we're one in a million. Tht makes us special i guess. :)" - asri

2010-03-11T10:46:00.010+08:00

i cutted my hair! i cuttttteeeddd my hair!

I MADE BANGS. (again)
and didnt tell my boyfren about it. he found out only after half of the world knew about it.
ABEH DIER SUKE~!! he went like, "did my baby cut her hair? did she? =D"
i lagi suke lah!

heh. LEPAS TUH MALAM KENE ATTACK LAH KAN.
=P
so anyways, i got bad cravings again, it was for rojak cine with CUTTLEFISH, and asri got me exactly wad i wanted. and then i saw goreng pisang at the pasar malam near my house and i wanted it, BUT HE SAID NO. a firm NO. macam like what! i am gona find a goreng pisang ini hari jugak.
we then proceed to consume that rojak at my messy house. he stayed over for awhile, been a long time since i had that kind of company. =)
kalau boleh nak suru dier sleepover itu jam jugak.

today is thursday! matin will be going for his checkup to see if he is okay for work tomoro. he sed he's still having headaches so i dun think he'll well enough to work.
get well soon lah.

talking abt that, my MOMMY! she went for surgery to her forehead yesterday and is now on hospitalisation leave. with heavy bandage on her forehead like a louhan. and she eats makanan org saket. and everyone at work asked me abt her. but the daughter knew a little and it got them annoyed. MY MOMMY NEVER TELL ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW RITE?!!

knnbccb.

OHH! AND,
asri is selling away his monster.
becos,
1. His workplace is within walking distance from his home. (i still dun get it why he needs a DUCATI. b, u showoff.)
2. He is paying for sumthing that he keeps in the carpark most of the time.
3. He prefers driving than riding. i dun fancy riding it too, i've only rode it for like wad, 5 times? it looks cool(LIKE HEY LOOK! DUCATI! *drools*) but peh laju. maybe sum minahattackmotorbesar mite love it.
MINAH?! PLS TELL YOUR BF DAT MY BF IS SELLING IT AWAY. ASK HIM TO BUY.
4. He figured that the money spent on the bike shud be spent on sumthing else.

SO HERE~~

photo credits to nazra. for more details pls visit : http://www.singaporebikes.com/classifieds/showproduct.php?product=5267&cat=15

i cant wait for my march pay!! bonus, OTs, bday plans, HOLIDAYS!!!
i wanna go KL to shop! before bali trip, must go sumwhere else alone with asri. =D

note: i noe there's no such thing as 'cutted'. asshole.

2010-03-07T19:24:00.006+08:00

i got too exhausted today. i hate getting tired over small stuff.
yesterday was double dating night with nazra and fira. we had FORMAL as dresscode and everybody dressed like teachers. asri, nazra n me got our skate shoes on tho.
we watched Alice in Wonderland in 3D at The Cathay. awesome movie! and johnny depp was, all together now! "..aaawwwwww.."
he still have that edward scissorhand's puppydog face.
and then after movies we bought sushi and hanged out at vivo's habour doing, well, nothing. cos our plan was to bowl but marina's bowling place was under construction and the alleys were cut down to half and it was full!
we had coffee awhile after sushi and i was feeling lethargic so we made a move and nazra n fira went seperate ways home.

i slept the whole journey in the car while asri drove me home.
he do not like it when pple sleep while he was driving but i was exceptional. =P
maklomlahhh..

so here are the pictures for yesterday:

aaaaand then today, monchichi was kidnapped by my aunt. so i went to pay ransom n fetch him back. my mum drove us around, we ate at Charco's in AMK.. nice grilled ribs i must say. you all shud try it there. and then lala went off for work.

and then asri wanted to meet me while he skates with his boys so mum drove me n bro to their skating spot n i brought monchichi along! he was sucha, MONKEY! it took him quite awhile to adapt to the new faces and then he was totally all over them after. im surprised at how asri entertain that little squirt. nazra and asri taught ridz how to skate too.
here are the pictures:

okeh dah. penat nak mampos.. asri is still out skating.. he wore the new shoes i bought for him to skate! ROSAKKK!! but its okeh. meant for skate anyways.
mum sed she like it that i can spend more time with family. i like it that my bf came to my room yesterday and FOLDED MY CLEAN LAUNDRIES THAT WAS LEFT ON MY BED. whoa. the only person that does that on free will is my grandma.

im loving this guy.

2010-03-06T08:04:00.001+08:00

..PFFFFTT..

2010-03-05T12:52:00.002+08:00

dad kept serving sliced pineapples as ulam.
and i kept eating them. i am not supposed to eat pineapples.

and i still havent seen asri. this is killing me. i canot take it anymore.
T_T

2010-03-04T19:41:00.002+08:00

i cant take my emotions!!
ICANOTSTANDFEELINGFUCKINGSICKEVERYMORNING.
ICANOTSTANDNOTSEEINGMYBUBUMASYAM'SFACEEVERYDAY!
ICANOTSTANDMYHUNGERANDCRAVINGS!
IDONOTKNOWHOWYOUFUCKINGGIRLSDIDIT!!
FUCKINGHORMONES. YOUFUCKINGFUCKINGHORMONES.
i wud fucking trade my soul with any single babes out there.

asri is handling me quite well now. i didnt think he wud score.
wait, he scored well in the first place thats why im like, in this situation right now.. ^_^

ASRI!!!? IFYOUAREREADINGTHISIAMGONAHUGYOUTILDEATHDOUSPART.
IMSOINLOVEWITHYOUBABY.

so anyway.
went to jb yesterday with bf, his bff, n my bff.
glad they got along. ate my cravings off. kari kepale ikan! and chicken 65 and alot of other stuff.
the guys gave up first while the girls cleared the remains.
and then i bought asri a pair of shoes. he wore it strate away. nazra told me those were like, susahnakcarikpehpairofshoes.
and that asri is really2 happy. =D im happy that he is happy with tuh kasot!
JUST DUN RUN AWAY FROM ME MAN.

i am fat. dun sugarcoat it cos im gona eat that too.

2010-03-02T16:19:00.002+08:00

this means, I AM NEVER EVER EVER GONNA LEAVE ASRI. never ever ever.

=D

it never ever happened before with any other guys in my life and im so happy to know abt it!
that we both are capable of it, unlike someone. which, we just figured out btw..
i wanted so much to tell you guys abt it, but bf wont let me, and i know some readers of this blog CANT FUCKING TAKE THE HEAT. they'll go like cacing kepanasan if i tell. haha. omg this story is so fucking HOT.

i love asri soooooo MUCH.
SOOOO.
FUCKING.
MUCH.

puke now if u must..

=D

kthanxforreadingbye.

2010-03-01T15:17:00.002+08:00

i had a FUCKING awesome weekend!!!!

and of cos i got into an accident. i superman-ed on a hole in the road, funny lah kan. thank god for the gears n mus to the rescue. and then a while later, i fell UNDER my bike on a slope and my right leg got caught between the handles flat on the ground n i taught i broke my leg cos i cudnt move. mus n anand came running to me and i got up like nothing happen n continued riding. and then i got hit by nita's atv from behind and got stuck cos i was braking while going down the slope n she was following me close behind. naseb baek tk kene run over!

i came back in one piece as promised. only bruises here and there.. ohh, and asri got hurt too. check it out!

same time, same day, different places:

my souvenir.

his silly scar. from skateboarding. -_-"

kesian la.

ouh and, Salleh..

i knew this guy briefly from fb. chatted a couple of times. and he told me he lives around my area. didnt noe that the day he added me, was his last few days on earth. to make things worse was, i saw his accident scene. Asri was sending me off for Tristan Park on saturday morning, and we drove past this horrible accident scene right infront of my house, where the rider was actually flung off to the opposite road. i saw the guy in a horrible state, and told asri, "b, that guy is dead.." cos i saw how his legs got all bloodied. and then when i came back to singapore, i saw pple posting abt him being killed in a road accident in fb. and i found out from tasha that the one i saw was him! HOW SAD CAN IT GET!!?? god.

Al-fateha.

2010-02-25T10:39:00.002+08:00

i've been having fucking skull-crushing headaches since last friday.

and i hate having hypocrites as friends. i mean they are not being hypocritical to me, but to some others. and i see it happening and i feel nauseous about it. and that poor guy. sheesh.

you know karma dont you? you know it will happen to you someday, no?

i wish to talk more bad things about you and make your blood boil n spoil your day, but i think i'd rather see you spoil your own day by yourself cos you are very capable of doing that, of putting yourself in the shitty situations, then blaming others, when you can actually avoid everything altogether.

so yeah.. cut it down a lil'..

i SUPER CANT WAIT for this weekend. a nite away from all the stress ('cept for asri, i cant believe im leaving him this weekend to spent a nite with another guy -.-). a nite of learning how to ride a bike. A NITE OF DIRTBIKING! and party, as told by mus. i have to behave.

anyways, you guys can check it out here : http://tristangroup.com

im going home for lunch today. have not met asri for two days. deeply missed. he said if he's not tired he will make his way here after work to meet me. but tkyah uhhh.. besok keje pagi, i dowanna be tired in the morny with my splitting headache.

"we promised tht we won't leave each other. I don't wish to break it." -asri

2010-02-24T14:44:00.002+08:00

"..In fact, as long as im with u, anywhere is heaven." -asri

2010-02-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

i have met the cutest most wonderful loving boyfren, EVERRRGH!!

he gets my way of looking at things. he says the things i wanna hear, oh and he dont just say it, HE DOES IT.
and my i hate my fucking template, lynn baby is working on it, but i think i also wanna help around lor. just lazy to start.

i need to sleep la actually kan? k bye.

2010-02-22T16:46:00.004+08:00

"Dear Councillor,

My girlfriend is the best girlfriend ever and i wouldn't replace her with anyone else." - asri

okeh im fooooking bored, so i 'entertained' Mus for awhile on msn.
abeh meleret.
now i canot face him properly on saturday without imagining him naked.
OKEH NO. i showed asri our convo and he laughed.
how cool is my boyfriend?

heres a bit:

[15:10] matilda curse:
my mummy werks here too btw.

[15:11] mus:
serious ah??

[15:13] mus:
mum must be a somebody there....

[15:15] matilda curse:
tkder laaaa

[15:16] matilda curse:
keje under boss is not sumbody, keje AS BOSS baru sumbody lol.

[15:16] matilda curse:
i werk under her.

[15:18] mus:
ouh

[15:19] mus:
can work under u??

[15:20] matilda curse:
it wud be better to work on top of me.

[15:24] mus:
u dun like to be on top??

[15:25] matilda curse:
i like uh. the best post yet, but sumtimes need to noe how the other party works.

[15:26] mus:
so u wana see la if im on top of u how it is??

[15:29] matilda curse:
haha.

[15:29] matilda curse:
yes

[15:31] mus:
but i'd prefer to start from below as someone new so i can have a taste of it all n work my way up

[15:32] matilda curse:
that way you will get promotion faster lor. *i canot contain my chuckle*

[15:33] mus:
faster promotion = better payout...

[15:34] matilda curse:
faster promotion = better payout = more jobs to do.

[15:36] mus:
faster promotion = better payout = more jobs to do = hv to start lookin at things frm a different angle

[15:36] matilda curse:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[15:36] mus:
kakaka

[15:36] mus:
woi

[15:37] mus:
HORNEEY EH!

[15:37] matilda curse:
I NEVER SAY!!!

[15:37] matilda curse:
I LAUGH ONLY!

and the bubu.. the only thing he said was, "BEE! haha! u encourage dier seh! u notty eh. i tot u notty nan i je.. kan i da jealous.."

no he's not la, dier gurau je.
like how he always sms me about a cute girl he saw like,
"baby, there's a girl wearing green tanktop. i think she is cute. kthxforlisteningbye."
and then i'll go, "TAKE A SECRET PICTURE AND SEND ME QUICK!"
we love doing that to each other and noe that by the end of the day, the only one we're gona curl up and sleep with is each other, without any doubts, i repeat, WITHOUT-ANY-DOUBTS.
he is fun like dat.

im glad.

=D

2010-02-22T09:48:00.004+08:00

matin met with an accident two nights ago.
so we visited him last nite.

he was very drowsy, dazed, and sleepy. sepatah2 je dier jawab, salu talkative. hish.
if i was his gf/mum/whoever that matters, i wudnt let him ride anymore! and the scariest part was, rite before he 'disappeared' in fb, he updated sumthing like, "lucky im crazy enuff to do crazy things if not i won't get home sia!!.." crazy!

cukop time accident! sepak kang!

anyways, the shoe that asri chose for me, HAS ARRIVED!

MY BIG FOOOOTED SISTERS, CAN NEHHHVAAARGHHH! FIT INTO THESE TINY MUNCHKINS!!!

SUKE PE SUKE PE SUKE PEEEERRRR!!???

he was like, "i got a surprise for you, if you noe wad i mean.."
i tot he was gona do sumthing cheeky (like always) BUT THIS TIME, IT WAS THE SHOE! SAYANG LAH SANGAT!!
on the spot peh bukak and try.

and then we sent tasha n yom off to her aunt's place and 'waited' for them in the car at admiralty park's carpark while asri wipe himself up with wipes2 (in his own words, 'mandi cowboy') cos he was sticky n masyaam from work. few minutes later, we ended up falling asleep in each others arms at the backseat. woke up an hr later to the freezing aircon. and yom texted him saying they're not meeting us, so we went home.

and then,

I SAW TAUFIK SENDING HIS VERY PREGNANT WIFE OFF TO THE HOSPITAL.

he's gona be a fatherrrrrrrgh! nanti masok news.

2010-02-19T19:48:00.000+08:00

"I feel sif god has blessed me wif an angel." -asri

I'm gona love this guy forever maaaaaaaan!!!

Anywaaaaay! I can't believe that he allowed me to tag along for a dirtbiking trip with a group of total strangers!
How awesome? I can't even believe myself that I'm going for it. I'll be heading Tristan Park next weekend for a nite to learn how to ride.
Thanx to Mus-kiko, peh random ajak aku.
I haven't even met him.

Aaaand I've decided to jog tomoro morn. Becos I had a dream that I was jogging and I was happy n stuff but then I woke up coughing n breathless. And my horoscope said I have to insert physical activities into my daily routine (Sex counts btw but got that too much).
Sooo I've decided to fucking jog.

Today is mom's bday. And I'm on mc. Down with fever cough n tonsilitis. Wtf.

Gona pigout. Theres leftover bday cake! *oink

2010-02-18T17:55:00.004+08:00

this is asri, i call him bubu.

he's my whole wide world.

becos he's the best thing that has happened thus far.

you have NO IDEA how much i love him.

today marks our 1st month of being together!
im so in love with this man. he's everything to me now.

he's someone who won't stop reminding me how much he loves me.

he's someone i can cuddle up to and stay warm with.

he's someone who wont let go of my hands even while driving. he's someone who's always there when i needed him.

he's someone who'll remember special dates n loves surprising me (dude! this man bought me popeyes all the way from amkhub and asked his fren to set it up in admiralty park while he went to fetch me from work, just becos i told him i craved popeyes T_T i felt bad).

i hope he stays this way. i thanked god so much for him. not forgetting tasha lah (her fren btw -kening naek2-).
aaaand im loving every single drop (pun intended) of him.

i've spent my whole morny with him today. woke up super early cos he wanted fetch me for breakfast after sending his sisters to work, so now my eyes cudnt take it nimore, i've been awake for 12hrs! been chatting with his 1st sister til late last nite. she's so happening lah. i wud love to update about it but im too lazy.
i just need to pen down this special date in my blog..

anyway! when i woke up this morny, i saw the news that a7x have started recording for their new album that has JIMMY written all over it! T_T tears of joy, cos MIKE PORTNOY, will be playing for jimmy. mike portnooooyyy!!! \m/ *hails*
like u all care.

but wadever. back to asri.

he bought me a watch couple of days back,

so now i cant wait for my payday so i can bring him out pulak. not that i always use his money (I DID NOT!), but i have to do SOMETHING for him too kan?

payday payday. $$$.

2010-02-17T17:30:00.002+08:00

THANK YOU FOR VISITING ME DOWN AT MY LEVEL.
I'VE CLIMBED UP TO YOURS, I'VE CUT THE ROPE,
AND IS NOW LOOKING DOWN AT YOU.
=)

dumbfuck.

2010-02-17T10:00:00.003+08:00

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
(mite as well do.)
=)

A bad workman blames his tools.
(everyone but u, are rotten in their eyes.)

Before criticizing a man, walk a mile in his shoes.
(dunoe? shut up. u've NEVER got a man who cheated on u many times or, plans to share you with his besty or, shared besty's ex-wife in bed or, had sex with your fren(s) before or, beats you up cos u found out he's cheating. YOU HAVE NEVER, SO SHUT UP. how abt i curse it will happen to you? i have a black tongue.)

A thief thinks everyone steals.
(YOU, are wrong.)

Blood will out.
(your upbringing will show. God will show.)

2010-01-02T08:23:00.006+08:00

happy new year all.
my new year was a beautiful splendid moment.
i will never forget this new year ever.
i woke up without a hangover, i feel very clean n pure, i feel beautiful, i feel, reborn.

I HATE MY 2000 SO MUCH. i tot it was a good year when i fianlly got engaged but no..
the rev died. it had a huge impact on me. i cried n cired like i've lost sumone close. and then i kept thinking of wad i thought in 2008 when i cudnt get to go backstage to meet him, that i will, "wait for the next concert and i'll do it then." and now its gone. GONE. he's dead. i can never ever ever meet him. i love james owen sullivan so much. i have learn that you can never make things/pple wait anymore.
never. it can be gone in an instance.

i've been quiet for days rite. i noe.
i only told the truth to those who matters.
and i understand all of you have question marks all over your head as to why i cant make it work this time round. i'll tell you, just read on..

i refuse to blame it on 'dugaan alam pertunangan', and let him get away with it.
not anymore. no way. i used to think, "ahh..nanti da tunang dier berubah..he sed dat wad.." and now that we're engaged, and its still happening, i am not going to say, "aahh..nanti da kawen dier berubah.." nah uh. no. im sorry.
this is not a rash decision. sumone wise told me that his heart was 'left hanging and then it dropped n broke into millions of pieces, so he picked it up one by one n fix it back with a masking tape.' err..
wad i meant was, that's how my heart is, and im slowly recovering from it. i was left hanging cos i cant even see wad is gona happen.. i dunoe if he'll still love me in the future. and when this happened, i was left alone, my heart got crushed pijak2 selet2 with taik. so decide to clean myself. fix myself. the 'masking tape' that surrounds it gave extra strength to cover myself from anything hurtful coming my way.
it also sheilded me from the feeling called love. i will never love again. at least thats wad i believe.

im taking my longest time to think about it. i do not want a replacement for him. i do not want it to be rash. i want it to come strate from my own heart n mind.
becos i noe this is a final decision..

saying yes to continue n work it:
and my life may/may not be happy with him. cos i dunnoe if he'll change for real. the may/may not part is disgusting. it scares me.
cos i've been thinking my whole 6yrs that I AM GONA BE HAPPY.
but i got hurt many times instead. i even tried being optimistic n blog abt the nice things that's happening, saving myself from killing many sluts n bitches with my words. saving myself from fucking more men everytime i felt hate.
i've put up a fake front of being happy. wait no, i mean, i AM happy when i have him lah, he is the sweetest, the bestest sumtimes.. but when he starts hurting, IT REALLY HURTS. its overwhelming.
say he will really2 change now, n then i have 4yrs (yes he wanted 4yrs) till marriage n i have no idea how it is gona be. no idea. zilch.
so 4 yrs. and saying yes is the moment of throwing myself into a gambling den.
and then i'll hear pple screaming no. and then i'll hear pple cheering me to giv it a go. saying yes gives me a blank future.
i can only see how I WANT IT to happen, but i cant see it happening..

saying no n moving on with life:
i will be in a depressed mode. it will be difficult. i will not eat, i will not talk, i will not sleep. infact this is exactly wads happening now. i am missing him to the core. but im refraining myself from even viewing his fb status. i do not know who he is anymore n i dun wish to know.
i've seen cousins n aunties n frens who got engaged and DIDNT MAKE IT. i told myself i WILL NEVER be like them. i donot want pple to think that, it runs in the blood. that "kan aku da ckp confirm tk jadi.."
but look at where i am now.
my kakak sedare, who got so depressed after putus, became anorexic. she totally changed, she was you noe, a different person.
but she's married with sumone new now and they have a daugther n she looks happy. and so did the other cousin. she got 3 kids n counting..
happy rite? say no n move on with life. make life work n think that there are PPLE OUT THERE who will treat me like i deserve.
but then i have another aunty. she got engaged twice. dua2 kali happen mcm siak. the 2nd one was worse cos she made it big n it didnt happen too. she wasnt really depressed cos i saw her having a replacement almost that instant. i dowan to be like that. i dowan to replace him n when it goes wrong again i'll replace again.
bile nak game?
but still.. this decision in much more safer n happier than the previous one. it promises sumthing compare the previous one.
cos i'll never forgive myself if i say yes, and edd didnt change. when that happens, i wudnt have the strength that i have now to not hurt myself..
dun talk abt love, dun talk about time. cos love hurts n time will heal.

(T_T)
so u see. thats wad i've been feeding myself dis few days.
i didnt only think abt myself also la.
i tot abt wad his family will say. wad his dad will think abt me.. wad my/his makcik pakcik will say. his fault lah make me wait till after ngah's wedding, after i was introduced by everyone as his fiancee/'bakalnye lagi 3 tahon'.
his dad kept asking me, "waty maseh sayang syamil?.."
i kept saying yes. cos yes, i still love him with all my heart, but i cant say yes to continuing our relationship. becos why? becos read on..the story will come.

i have been a bad girl. i've cheated on him too. i gave myself to guys easily. eee? not easily mintak kasi laa, piker aku murah pe. but like u treat me nice, layan me good n i'll give u sex. i kept straying away when another guy came to sweep me off my feet. i get swept off my feet easily cos those other guys talks nicer to me. -.-
like edd didnt call me baby. he didnt say good morny/nite every day. he didnt tell me miss me. he gets tired seeing my face everyday. he loves to tengking me n punish me. im a stupidest/gila/bodo/kimak. while he was my dearest/bestest/syg/baby. i mean, why stay when sumone out there can be nice to you? why? becos we're already 6yrs? becos we're engaged? no. i will not think that way anymore.

he loves punishing me. his punishment will be like, one time this happened, i got no money n im hungry n i told him im fucking hungry n he was like "k nanti beli macdonald." so i'm like, "k i nak teriyaki yg avatar tuh.." and then otw, while imagining the food entering my mouth, edd gets angry over sumthing i sed when i 'menjawab'. and then he said, "kau takpayah makan ah." (or sumthing harsher) and drives home without food. i havent eaten the whole day, cos i wanted to eat with him and i got no money. n now i got punished for sumthing im not really sure of.
i remember those things. and yes it hurts cos i cant berlawan, i was told many times to 'jadi air' n be the nice one.. sumtimes i'll just ignore, sumtimes i'll bite my tongue till it bled, sumtimes i'll just clench my fist till i broke my nails or it'll dig thru my own flesh so i wun feel my heartache. sumtimes i just love him.

and now, he's been telling me that the root of this problem is me. cos, listen here n listen good. its cos i stink in bed. yes. I STINK. im unhygienic. i hate to wash cos im lazy. i admit i got an infection months ago, but i got it cleared. im like the cleanest when it comes to this. and i still stink. its my fault this realtionship didnt work. cos he loves how other girls smelled la maybe kan? maybe cos other girls was his best. heck i didnt even noe he slept with them. (-_-)
u get where im going now? he sed he hates how 'cums' smelled years ago but now it became a big issue that it detroyed our sex life. no other guy had sed i stink n i even asked them smell just to be sure. i've slept with 8 guys (yes 8, dun gimme that face). n only one sed i stink n dat he wasnt satisfied.. forgive me ya Allah for sleeping with many men. pls remove my stinkiness.
note: u can request to smell me if u want to noe the truth. im not afraid cos i noe i dun stink now.

-.-''

i wud love to take fault.
cos thats wad i am lah. a 'fault' from the begining. from when i was born.
but i do not want to do all that now. as much as i love him n want to be in his arms again, i DONT WANT TO FALL FOR IT. COS AFTER HIS RECOVERY, I WILL BE SHIT AGAIN.

ok. im still angry. when im not, i'll return the ring.

2009-12-24T23:30:00.002+08:00

FUCK LAH. I HAVE BEEN LYING TO YOU ALL.
im a selfish bitch. i kept him under my armpit cos IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD.
I SHUD PUBLISH THIS FUCKING HIDDEN BLOG.

fuck who am i kidding. i love him yes, but for fuck? he's ultra nice when he's ok, then turn into fucktard once he's having a relapse.
frens heard my rants abt how mental he is. they not only hear it, they witness it too. how he is balding n still thinks he's hot. i mean, in my eyes he is lah, but other pple told me otherwise too.
when other pple say he's ugly, im actually agreeing with them at a corner of my heart.

GOD? seriously, thank you for answering my prayers. and to think that he is asking me for money now. pfft...
i must say no. i must not help him this time. maybe he shud ask salveda? omg that girl is leaving him to la. or dat she doesnt have the money? or that even if she have the money, she wun give it to him.

salveda sape? oh. kan aku da ckp, dier ade pompan laen even tho he say no.
but kesian la pompan tuh pon da ade bf n tanak edd. hmm.. tk paham.

being a girl, if you were to fall, alot of hands will be catching you, just be sure to fall on the right one. i think i just did. he was walking and singing, n i fell rite into his arms, crying to a stranger. dude, that stranger listened with all his heart..

2009-12-23T14:35:00.002+08:00

pls wake up.
you're not young.
you're 21 and balding.
if dats not enuff, ur sex is deteriorating.
i enjoyed it becos i love you. i cant deny that sumtimes it DOES gets exciting.
thrilling exciting.

you're old.
how?

im not the only one who notices. but i AM the 1st to tegor, becos u noe, its best to hear it from the closest one.
i do noe my flaws too. i noe i got hit by yeast infection. i noe i need to recover. so i did wad i need to do. infact, i've recovered. but you. u noe ur suffering from sumthing, yet YOU DO NOTHING. let me tell you, ignoring wont get you anywhere.

like how im ignoring you rite now.
it wun get me anywhere. i hate not knowing where i wud be heading.

oh, i've told wan that we shud not do that again. he agreed.
AGAIN, NO, I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM.
and i've deleted my tagged. u asshole.
u're such an asshole. n i cant leave you.

fuck you.

2009-12-23T11:26:00.005+08:00

HE SED IM GETTING BACK AT HIM FOR SIGNING UP TAGGED. AND THAT IF ITS TRUE I CAN JUST SAY IT AND HE'LL BE GONE THIS INSTANT.
hello?

he signed up n get hard looking at the girls frm tagged, so i figured, WHY NOT BE ONE?
so he can get hard looking at me. but noooooo, he got scaaaared dat i found out abt it and didnt add me n even deleted his tagged acct. and now dat i didnt delete mine, he got restless?

why the need of ego man? you cud just say, "hey, delete your tagged, i dun like."
instead u went all big headed, "u getting back at me arent cha? you wanna get even? say it bitch, say it n i'll be gone just this instant!!"

i hate tagged. im not getting back at him thru tagged.
if i really wanna get even with him, I'LL FUCK.
i'll fuck, easily.
but then again, tuh bende time kecik2. nomore like that nimore. skg da besar, da malas. da tau nak kena setia dgn future husband. dat the sperm dat goes in my womb wud belongs to the man i see as the father of my child.
haiz.
all i can do is have all the patience i need n try to 'earn' him back. if it doesnt work.
then, T_T

i'll be gone just like dat.

2009-12-23T08:13:00.002+08:00

THIS IS WRONG WATY.

there. i've 'fulfil' his desires to meet me. eh no eh.
i didnt even unzip anything.
so wad did we do.
hmm ziela was there. she sed i was stupid.
not sure becos of wad lah, me meeting wan n 'cheating' edd, or me leaving wan 6 yrs ago.
and then he briefly talked to us. and then entertain his handphone fren. stil mcm like dulu lah perangai cute2. he looks skinny too, like, older? mane muscle dier last time i like to squeeze2?

ok then after ziela went back, he WALKED me home. we walked. n talked.
and he didnt stop looking at me saying, "waty...HI! omg i cant believe im with u now.."

dude. i cant believe im meeting sumone else's fiance.
wtf wtf wtf.

and then we sat under the blk, (betol peh tak takot) and talked. n lean on each other shoulders, i tell him my story, n he kissed my cheeks, n then he sed, "waty, he's stil the same eh mcm dulu u crite pat i..", n then he stroked my hair, breathed n whispered in my ears, n we both felt really good but FUCKING GUILTY LAH FUCK. wad the fuck are we doing man? wad is this feeling? dua2 tanak balek. dua2 tak tau nak buat ape dgn tunang maseng2.

so i initiate leaving. cos dua2 mate koyak at 2am. n its getting horrible. i prevented staring into his eyes so much. he didnt. he kept looking with the dreamy eyes n kept saying he cant believe he did all these.
and then he sed, being a guy is much more easier cos a girl will have to follow wad a guy decides. maksodnyer? kalau dier nak tinggalkan tunang dier he can do it lah rite?, but if edd dowan to let me go, i cant do anything.

he told me to "tutop mate u pls." n kissed me. NO TONGUE, just a peck. and then i kissed him back. and run up. without saying anything else. i felt so bad. he watched me until i disappear. and then i texted him saying im sorry cos i cudnt resist. n he texted me back saying he stil can smell me.

so thats it. i am not gona call him or text him anymore. i am not gona have any feelings for awhile now. until dreeaadful monday.

anyway, edd's fb status, "rise up n take the power back."
muse song lah but wad is he trying to say? that i shud do wad i need to do to get him back? maybe it meant nothing at all lah. i'll brush it off. he's leaving me this monday anyway. tomoro i shall PRETEND that we'r okay. -.-

2009-12-22T19:02:00.004+08:00

i am refraining myself from fucking him up. dear Allah gimme more patience.
pls sumone tell him that yg suke buat keje setgh jalan is HIM. yg suke bubble org is HIM.
eg,
1. repair computer abg mamat?
2. his blogshop?
3. err he sed he wanted to try the hardmod thingy?
4. our blogskin.
5. janji org nak buat decal tk jadi. buat org tunggu2.
6. even our pertunangan dier nak cut short.

me, upload picture tyrantula setgh jalan cos fb is fucked up. erm, hmm. seems like im still working on completing everything everyone asked me to do like ngah's guestbook, hmm, baju kurung, hmmm henna, oh i've COMPLETED HER WEDDING CARD.
i may take a long time to finish, but i FINISH THEM.

if dier, u can just forget it, like my dad. forget dat he'll ever finish it.
a probability of 2:10

"Edd Ptizta : so, ure not a woman too? right? :)"

oh God pls tell him dun sarcastic2. he told me not to and i didnt. he told me nt to contact him n i didnt. so why is he trying to poke my bubble? sengaje?

fyi, i NEVER stole another woman's man b4..
boi is seperated n abt to divorce his non-existence wife. (she tak balek rumah, tak jaga anak)
if he's talking abt me stealing him from wanie, pfffftttt, he fell out with her. i was there n he wanted me too. they broke up n wanie sed sorry.
cos yes she knows i am priority, he belongs to me n that she is 'only for awhile'.

after i observed that he will want me n that he will leave her, n they fell out, i jumped in.
he cheated on her with me.

im a lady. i do not ruin others relationship.
and if he does have another woman outside rite now, then pls let her noe that edd does not do dis, infact, WE do not decide to fall out if there is no 'other one' from either of us. no matter how we deny. falling out = got 'other one'
try hard to hide her. i've been there done dat. females are better in hiding. infact he still doesnt noe abt the one who got away.

for edd's case, lets just say its a diff story when the woman came back to claim wad's hers. n the temporary owner simply agrees to give. n the man decides to be with the woman who claimed him.

he's the man, im the woman.

and abt wan.
i am not even close. i respect him so much like he respects me. i respect his fiance eventho she is in the dark.
we noe its wrong. we are trying to prove n test ourselves.

2009-12-22T15:55:00.004+08:00

i noe this is wrong. but we're not married yet.
i wuds hate it if edd does dis, but i have a need in this empty heart to fulfil.

i have been called 'baby' by wan. that's wad he called me when we were together 6yrs ago!!
i've grown up now, dun call me baby. yes, i ignored he mushy name callings, i feel like slapping myself cos edd doesnt do 'mushy name calling' but horrid name callings...pfft

i dun understand why wan's doing this. why am i ''too addictive"? why is he searching hi n low for me? why is he excited to hear my voice? why is he dying to meet me? i felt bad cos i wish i HAD done half of the things he did. i wish i WAS searching hi n lo for him lor.

sex? -.-"

i hope he's not like that. he wasnt like dat last time. i was the one initiating everyting.
he was the goody2. too goody2 that i tot he wasnt interested in me AT ALL. sape lah aku.
and no, i have not been offering my hole to anyone but edd for the pass year. neither did i shine a green light that that topic is available.

so why?

let me just meet this man in real life and i'll tell you more.

2009-12-22T10:27:00.002+08:00

im in a difficult situation right now.
i need insurance.

i asked god for pentujuk.
but why must a 'petunjuk' appear as an engaged man?
an engaged man that is 'happy' with his fiancee but is still 'soo into' me. who still miss me so much. who wanted to see my face n his promises wud be fulfill.
im stil in a state of disbelieve. i didnt even think he remembered me.
of all the times we terserempak, n he looked at me n i looked at him n we went our ways. at times i didnt even mentioned to edd that i saw him. cos i didnt thik it was anything. i wasnt nothing tho. all the fite we had i will have to hear his name being mentioned at least once.

he made an impact in my life. he's not like boi or fadly or jupjup.
i do care n provide love for them but i do not think they made an impact.
wan was the only other one that i tot i wud never get. i tot i was never the one he likes or remember. but i got it wrong cos he's so much diff frm the rest. he has this respect n n understanding pact going on with his fiancee. they dun check on each other so much. they trust wad each other have to do n they noe their limits. i wud love to have a fiance like that. to let go n not worry about losing him cos u noe u wont. like how edd noes he wont lose me. but his ego is huge. to noe that he wont lose me, makes him feel superior. that he can hurt me all he wants and im still there to pacify his needs. yes, i love him like that.

i wud so much wish that wan wud leave his fiancee so i wud have the strength to leave mine n be with him. but when that happens then its a different thing altogether. that his 'understanding pact' he had with his fiancee is breached. then he is no different from all the other guys.
again, its only a wish. if it happens. i will recieve it with open heart. if it doesnt, Alhamdulillah that i didnt ruin a relationship.

i love edd with all my heart. i love edd with hits n misses. nobody noes his manja side, n the feeling it gives when he does that baby face snuggles2.

i now have one task i need to complete.
i need to see his face n let him see mine, and then see how it goes. i hope he will fulfil his promise to self that after seeing me in real life, he will leave me alone.
and if it doesnt happen that way, then its my turn to fulfil my promise, that is to walk away.