love every cold bus ride with you.

love every escalator ride with you.

love every phone call i get from you.

love how our eyes set on each other.

love how our fingers fit perfectly in each other.

love the taste of your breath.

love how you can make me love again..

do i look prettier like this:




or like this eh?:





hehehaha. mentel kan!

anyway, i had a chat with the exfiance.
can you believe that? it was horrifying, seeing him answering my long forgotten unanswered qns.
i still can't believe i left the one person i gave my whole life to.
he was my whole wide world. i can do everything and anything for him.
i really hope he's a changed man now.
i've changed too.

if there's one thing i learned from leaving him, is to never stop loving.
there's so much, too much love flowing in me.
i just have to channel it to the right person.

i hope you're the right person this time.
mahalkitarc.

What was I thinking?
I wasn't.



Daswai..

day 2 of ramadhan n my MISSION IS COMPLETE.
i can nao die peacefully.
huehue.

i've offcially talked to everyone.
i also got the job at Shell House.
i've also spoken to nenek abt atok and got mama's phone number, although i didnt ask for it, and wasn't planning to call.
hais. nenek like to put me in a guilty situation.
from last time. but its k.

so anyways. bf bought this small leather case diary. and he jotted down every cute details abt us inside. including pictures, movie tix, n receipts.
and then he told me to write in it too.
I USED TO WRITE DIARIES.
and letters. lotsa letters to someone. unsent.
and then i would ask that someone to write in them too.
TOLD YOU I FOUND MYSELF A MALE VERSION OF ME.

please God please let this end nicely. however nice way You have it written for me.
without any heartaches.

i don't mind another 7 years with rayyan.
im serious.

ijustwantittoendlikehowit'ssupposedtobe.

there's so much to tell and catch up.
like i dreamt i met ur granddad.

but nope.
still can't bring myself to talk to you.


cus i still think you wont ever wanna talk to me.
or maybe cus part of me still dont ever wanna talk to you.

next life maybe.
till then~

i wanna talk to everyone now.

everyone.